Greetings from your writers at The Royal Mini-Guide, and welcome back for this month’s take on your most vexing royal matters!
As each year passes and makes way for the next, change remains inevitable regardless of station. Perhaps this season of chilly breezes and glittering white crystals and bare tree branches is making us philosophical, but we’ve particularly noticed how, from royals to peasants (or royals disguised as peasants), change infiltrates the lives of all. Sure, some princesses would like to claim that some things never change (not naming any names, but it might rhyme with Moana and start with an “A”), and while it’s a lovely notion, it’s largely inaccurate. Change is one of life’s few constants.
We’ve also observed how, as the year starts over, individuals who attempt to embrace some of this change crop up in increasing numbers before withering and dying after less than a month. Yes, the beginning of the year in particular seems to usher in an era, if brief, of self-made change, of choosing to improve one’s lifestyle rather than allowing bad habits to build until change is forced upon oneself. The aforementioned changes could mean getting a new look, making new friends, or learning to deal well with new situations. Indeed, learning to deal with change is one of the milestones in growing up, right along with respecting parental authority and dating for a reasonable amount of time before getting married.
Alright, yes, it was hard to keep a straight face for those last two. While you won’t need to adhere to anyone’s orders or refrain from tying the knot at age sixteen, it is useful to have an idea of what changes to expect in your life and how you should best cope with them.
One thing in particular to have on your royal radar is imprisonment. As unpleasant as it sounds, solitary confinement is one of the best ways to build character, cultivate creativity, and regain inspiration. Exchanging the stress and noise of royal life for the chance to come up with interesting new icebreakers for your next sleepover bash, brainstorm creative wedding gifts, or slap water mixed with seashell dust on the fused mineral lumps comprising your prison (no judgment, Rapunzel) doesn’t sound half bad! Anyone want to kidnap us?
NOTE: We would like to ask you to not take that too seriously. In all locations, but particularly at The Royal Mini-Guide, kidnapping is not condoned under any circumstances or for any reasons, unless you have a Permit of Revenge-Taking and a council-approved Plausible, Emotional Backstory. (You can visit www.planyourrevenge.com/how-to for further details on plotting your next hostage-holding.)
But for those of you for whom eighteen years of never setting toe on grass isn’t your cup of tea, we at The Royal Mini-Guide have you covered. We compiled the results of a recent survey we conducted, How Do You React to Change?, to give you a scope of how your peers and predecessors deal with the crazy twists life throws at them.
Princesses:
Our indisputable number-one answer was throwing yourself down on the nearest available object and making the most of therapeutic crying– and we completely agree. Let that ever-luscious hair swing around to fall over your shoulders and face, wrap your arms around the object above your head, and sob your heart out until something comes to comfort you. Crying has many benefits, one of them being that it resets your delicate emotional system, giving you control over your intense feelings for almost a full day! But then it’s back to the waterworks to prepare for another stressful day as a royal— or, as Ariel likes to put it, “Rinse and repeat.” Keep calm and then completely lose your calm by crying on, princesses!
Princes:
There was no need for us to actually interview princes about their emotions. For better or for worse, they are generally too occupied with slaying evil and rescuing an ever-increasing crop of damsels-in-distress to ponder how to cope with the stress of new environments and major life changes. We’re calling this “controlling what you can when things feel out of control.” Indeed, while their shows of bravado and swordsmanship could be coping mechanisms within themselves, since many have expressed doubt as to whether princes feel emotion at all, we didn’t see the need to go into further research on the topic. Suppress your emotions and press on, princes!
We hope this edition of The Royal Mini-Guide has been of help to you as you come face-to-face with the reality of change as a new year starts once more. Feel free to write and tell us how successfully your imprisonment (or imprisoning; see the note above) is going, or to seek further guidance on more specific royal dilemmas. Check back next month for our next article!
Photo Credits: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D42qAmx0maUU&psig=AOvVaw3cwJiaD0zSrdR3AtajHClo&ust=1640142128461000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAwQjhxqFwoTCKC7mImB9PQCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD