A warm winter greeting from your writers at The Royal Mini-Guide. Welcome back for your monthly dose of royal advice in our latest article, The Royal Mini-Guide to Holiday Gift-Giving!
Winter is a beautiful time of year— the snow is falling, the air is crisp, and the dying trees remind you of your imminent showdown with evil, where you might die in a similar fashion. And in line with these heartwarming topics, our statistics show that winter is the most likely time of year for catching hypothermia, consuming hot beverages, and, of course, giving gifts to loved ones.
In this article, we’ll give you our top tips and suggestions for selecting a gift for your POA no matter what your situation. We’ll also provide you with examples of famous royals whose brilliant winter epiphanies will get your mental wheels turning. That said, let’s turn up the holiday music (one of our favorites is Showing Love through Gifts is an Open Door to Further Commercialization of the Holidays) and get down to business!
First on your list of must-know tips is that extravagance is everything. The easiest way to prove your love this winter is to cater to the interests of your prince or princess. Use your royal connections and delve deep into the realms of stalker-dom until you’ve located a potentially obscure hobby of theirs, then make it exponentially larger until it’s almost impossible to accept. Perhaps your princess likes reading. Forget buying her her favorite series and calling it a day— if you can’t gift her your entire palace library, you can’t really call yourself a royal.
We really can’t emphasize this point enough– the surest way to win over your POA is by inflating what would be considered a reasonable gift until it’s impossible to repay. To help cement this life-changing knowledge, we’ll give you a chance to practice using it: Your prince has a side job hauling ice. Do you,
a) Get him a nice card
b) Buy him a new set of tools
c) Slap an official title on him and gift him a sled at least five times his annual salary
If you answered c, you are correct! Bonus points if you’ve barely known him for a week.
But perhaps you or your loved one appreciate the unusual. Luckily for you, we at The Royal Mini-Guide are here to help you navigate the waters of “unusual but in style.” Extremely popular nowadays is the “sidekick” concept. A cute animal or two, a witty companion, or a comic relief are indispensable– so what better gift than that? And if supply-and-demand isn’t working in your favor, as is often the case during the holidays, simply hire yourself and become the sidekick. (It worked for Esmeralda.)
But if you have less room for being choosy, due to time constraints, monetary deficiency, or an inconvenient setting (read: imprisoned), fear not, because we also have a timeless suggestion for the economically disadvantaged. If you’ve followed our previous articles, you might have already guessed this age-old, ever-popular suggestion: singing. Singing has never gotten old, and a quick serenade that may evolve into a duet will make your POA’s day! For extra brownie points, do it as you stroll through the snow together once upon a December. After all, cold air is free!
We hope this article has shed some light on the shadowy caverns of holiday shopping and made them less daunting. But if none of these gift ideas are quite what you’re looking for, we have one suggestion that appeals to all ages, stations, and situations. Royal readers, the only thing better than using this advice to buy gifts is gifting the advice to others. As Cinderella put it, give a girl a glass slipper and she’ll dance for a night, give her a fairy godmother, and she’ll have literally zero problems for the rest of her life! That’s why, for a limited time, we’re offering The Royal Mini-Guide subscriptions at a discounted price! If our advice has benefited you, we ask you to consider passing the gift on to a friend or family member of yours who is in a royal pickle. And POA’s are not the only ones who deserve to receive gifts– gift yourself this year with our limited-time The Royal Mini-Guide merchandise! Capes, sweatshirts, and more are being offered exclusively to you, our readers, for one month only. And as a bonus, to show our appreciation for those of you trapped in towers or castles, we’re including free shipping! With that, we wish you a merry winter season, and will see you next month with our next article!
Photo credits: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFwAy9bQhPA