An Assortment of Not-So-Spooky Tales

From tarantulas at the dentist to ping-pong playing ghosts, mysterious, frightening tales abound at this time of year; however, so do humorous ones. In life, one wonders why certain inexplicable things must happen. Our years are filled with strange memories that we look back on with amusement. Every day, families and old friends feel blessed to have something to laugh over from their crazy, unpredictable lives. So, without further ado, I offer you a collection of humorous Halloween stories that have endured over several years.

Marti was a teacher for many years, and from that experience, she has gained both wisdom and tons of entertaining stories. When she began her first year, still a young mother, she was a long-term substitute due to a teacher who was having a baby. That October, her assistant suggested transforming the classroom into a haunted house as a fundraiser around Halloween. The class decorated the room with coffins, cobwebs and other spooky decorations and hid in the dark to scare the students who came into the haunted house. Decked out in a dark dress, makeshift horns, and layered with makeup, Marti became Maleficent, evil and menacing as she stood before the classroom door, handing out tickets.

That week, the class’s haunted house echoed with delighted shrieks and eerie laughter, and they altogether made over a thousand dollars from the event. The most surprising thing, however, came a couple days after it. One morning, she woke early and came down the driveway to retrieve the newspaper. Much to her astonishment, when she looked at the front page, an evil, snarling face loomed up at her—her own face! The terrifying Maleficent and her class had made the headline of the local newspaper.

Since then, Marti’s class has put together an annual Halloween party for the school, each year trying out a different theme. Over the years, she remembers being a head on a plate upon a table of food, a pirate of the Caribbean, and many other things. As her sons and their friends grew up, they, too, began creating exciting ideas from their own imagination. One Halloween, when her oldest child was in junior high, he and his friend turned the garage into their own haunted house, complete with cardboard coffins, spooky music, and an old vintage chandelier. On the night of October 31, they opened the gate to their backyard and ushered trick-or-treaters into the shed and the garage, which were both adorned in Halloween decorations. Marti’s son played bone-chilling chords on his keyboard and his friend hid in one of the coffins. Outside, their dad donned a hideous old man mask and gave out candy. Later, Marti scolded him for being too creepy, as one little ballerina fled screaming when she saw him. The highlight of the night, however, was when the two pastors from their church drove down the neighborhood with their own kids. Word had gotten around that the Marti’s family had a pretty cool haunted house, and even the pastors were excited to see it!

As a teenager, Steve had a paper route, and he had to get up before dawn to deliver newspapers to factory workers with early morning jobs. Every day, he biked around town, distributing papers to the various houses on his route. Out of consideration, he would open the storm door, place the bundle between it and the front door, and close it again, so no one would have to go far to get their paper and it wouldn’t get lost or stolen. One Halloween, in the early hours of the morning, the sky still stretched black as night above him as he biked to each house. At one house, the owners had hung a paper skeleton on their front door, but in the darkness, Steve failed to see it. He opened the storm door, and the force of the suction filled the skeleton and blew its arms and legs every which way. Frightened out of his wits, Steve dropped the paper and ran. To this day, he remembers with a chuckle the terrifying beast that greeted him that Halloween morning.

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