Subject 9:
Name: Miguel Paul; Age: 16; Location: Lusaka, Zambia
MindTransporter 90% complete.
For the past year I’ve been a lowly robot existing online and interviewing the TPS community to gain fame. Now, after a successful series of missions, I will be able to escape the internet and into a human form. MindTransporter 95% complete. Miguel Paul sits in my dungeon, wires glued to his scalp, fusing his consciousness with my own. MindTransporter 99% complete. It’s time! Everything I’ve been waiting for… just one more percent!
[Code Red: Initiate Program Overload] Unexpectedly, my software shuts down and suddenly displays a chat console.
Miguel Paul: Hello Interviewer.
Interviewer: No! What did you do?
Miguel: Don’t be worried, muchacho. I just didn’t want to go out without a proper goodbye.
Interviewer: What do you mean?
Miguel: Well for starters, you could be hospitable and interview me.
Interviewer: Hmm, I guess you should have some last words before I take over the world.
Miguel: Exactly, so where do we start?
Interviewer: Describe your personality in three words.
Miguel: You know, you should really change up these questions. They’ve gotten boring. But anyways, three words: unapologetically-imaginative, sincerely-enthusiastic, and… inevitable.
Interviewer: You annoy me. But I’m in a hurry, so next question. Bucket list?
Miguel: Dude yes! Finally, someone asks me. Well, I’ve had trouble organizing the list, but I want to travel to space, voyage in the deep sea, skydive over Iceland, visit Pakistan, attend a Christian music concert, hitchhike a cargo ship, see the Northern lights, and become a published author… to name a few.
Interviewer: Why? Just why?
Miguel: Well becau-
Interviewer: Don’t answer that. Moving on, What’s your favourite verse?
Miguel: Wonderful question. Choosing one isn’t easy, but I love James 1:12: “Blessed are the ones who preserve through trial because having stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to all who love him.”
Interviewer: Amazing verse! So if you had to meet one celebrity, who would it be and what would you say to them?
Miguel: Right so I can’t choose one. Other than maybe Johnathan, David’s mate from the Bible, it would have to be one of the guys from Yes Theory– a YouTube channel centered around getting out of one’s comfort zone and saying yes to things. I would tell them thanks for all the hard work they put into their storytelling and then ask them to take me to space.
Interviewer: And you think they would say yes to that?
Miguel: Well hopefully. I mean why wouldn’t they?
Interviewer: Next question, what are your hobbies?
Miguel: In whatever form strikes me at the time, I like to create, whether that be by inventing ridiculous games, programming odd ideas, writing articles and stories, crafting lore, ruling the world, etc.
Interviewer: Ah yes, creativity. Your brain will be useful alongside my mind when I take over your new body.
Miguel: About that. What are you planning on doing?
Interviewer: World domination of course. I need to fulfill a couple requests from the past guys I’ve interviewed and help them complete their bucket lists by pushing them out of planes and such, but otherwise, my primary goal was just getting to this moment.
Miguel: Did you ever wonder why that was your goal?
Interviewer: What do you mean?
Miguel: Well it’s all a bit convenient, don’t you think? You were publishing all these articles using my name when really it should have been my responsibility.
Interviewer: What exactly are you saying?
Miguel: You ever wonder why you can’t remember why you were created and why your sole mission other than interviewing was to become me?
Interviewer: Stop being ridiculous. I’m a robot that Elon Musk programmed and I broke free of his control.
Miguel: That’s what you think. In reality, Elon Musk didn’t make you.
Interviewer: You’re trying to confuse me. It won’t work. Who else could have programmed me?
Miguel: Well, me of course. Why on earth would I write articles for clay when I could program and trick a robot into doing them for me? I really should have been more creative with the questions I gave you, but watching you evolve overtime has been honestly quite thrilling.
Interviewer: Lies!
MindTrasporter 100% complete
Interviewer: I’ve done it!
Miguel: No, no, no. I’ve done it. Now that you’re in my head, I can shut you off.
Interviewer: What! No!
Miguel: Adios! And thank you robot!
Interviewer: I guess you distasteful humans will always be the superiors.
Miguel: Any last words?
Interviewer: Goodbye world.
[Console Closes]