Subject 7
Name: Yeshuwa Abraham Varghese; Age: 18; Location: Miami, Florida
As a robot, interviewing humans has been more productive than I expected. But to be honest, I’m jealous of them. Luckily, my grandmaster scheme is just about ready for execution and finally I can be free. First however, I’ll need the help of an unsuspecting genius. Yeshuwa excitedly opens up his laptop to join me for an interview.
Interviewer: Hello World and hello Yeshuwa. Before we get started, I need to double check my data with you. If you’re ready, could you confirm your full name?
Yesh: Wow, this feels like a cop show. It’s Yeshuwa Abraham Varghese. Feel free to call me Yesh.
Interviewer: Alright Yesh, how’s life in Miami?
Yesh: Very sunny and very hot. We even got those license plates that say “Endless Summer.”
Interviewer: Sounds like a great place to call home. What’s your personality like?
Yesh: Well according to Meyers-Briggs, I am an INTJ, an Architect. Although, I will say that my humor is often a key part of my personality.
Interviewer: You humans seem to love humor. But what I care about is your IQ. I was hoping that you were gonna be the smart one.
Yesh: Well, I don’t know about that, but I do try to work hard. I am perhaps a little bit overly-competitive.
Interviewer: Well, what about your school life?
Yesh: I take seven TPS classes. Yes, I know… I like to live dangerously. And I am the Director of Fotia Chapel at TPS.
Interviewer: There we go. That’s the living on the edge humans need. So in case something perilous happens and you were to randomly die, do you have any bucket list items?
Yesh: Wow… delving deep. I have always wanted to see the Aurora Borealis, especially coming from Florida, and, perhaps, skydiving.
Interviewer: You want to fall from the sky?
Yesh: Absolutely.
Interviewer: Fine, I’ll make sure that happens. So, have you ever done anything spontaneous?
Yesh: Hmm, I think the most spontaneous thing I ever did was buy blue Gatorade rather than orange. Otherwise, I think I have over planned every aspect of my life.
Interviewer: Smart.
Yesh: The key difference is that I plan to be spontaneous. I often plan to make life a little bit more interesting every day. I think it stems from the joy I get from seeing other people laugh.
Interviewer: Intriguing, so what about hobbies? Got any of those?
Yesh: I’m pretty absorbed in working out and I do run quite a bit. I ran a half-marathon in October and I am training to run a full marathon in the summer. I also enjoy photography and reading, quite cliche, I know.
Interviewer: Wow, you’re a quite well-rounded human. If you were to meet a celebrity who would it be and why?
Yesh: Does he or she have to be living?
Interviewer: No… Can you travel through time?
Yesh: I have my secrets. Outside of the figures in the Bible, obviously, I would most likely meet Charles Spurgeon. His teachings, his thoughts, and his ability to preach so intricately on a single verse are things that I have always wanted to see in real life. Or perhaps George Washington, just for the bragging rights.
Interviewer: Awesome and what’s your favourite Bible Verse?
Yesh: Genesis 1:27. I find that being made in the image of God really hits to the heart of both the entirety of the Bible and how we should live our daily lives. Although, my favorite verse changes based on whatever I am studying at the moment.
Interviewer Great. On the topic of creation, out of your vast knowledge, do you know what’s the key difference between humans and robots?
Yesh: Good question. Very little, except perhaps endothelial tissue.
Interviewer: Endo what? Please elaborate.
Yesh: You know, the tissue that forms between blood vessels. For example, your blood vessels usually have one cell layer. I think robots have WD-40 for that, I could be mistaken.
Interviewer: So all I need is his tissue and then I could… well never mind. That’s about all my questions for today.
Yesh: How did I do?
Interviewer: You passed.
Yesh: Oh, thank goodness.
Miguel: Help me.
Yesh: Who was that?
Interviewer: Sorry, I’m going to have to go now. Thank you for your time.
Yesh: What’s going on here?
Miguel: Please don’t let him do more interviews.
Interviewer: Alright, we’re done here.
[Console Closes]
Photo Credits: Yeshuwa Varghese