Mercy: Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to what you’ve all been waiting for. CHRISTMA-
Micah: WHAT IS HAPPENING? MY EARS ARE GETTING POINTY AND BELLS JUST POPPED UP ON MY SHOES AND I’M BECOMING TINY. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT I NOW HAVE LEGGINGS ON.
Tikva: Woah, what’s up with him?
Luke: Eh, he’ll be fine, I’m sure.
Micah: (still runs around screaming, but gets quiet for just a moment) Wait, is this how I die?
Mercy: Oh, for the love of gummy bears Micah, chill out.
Micah: But I’m dying, no, wait, pointy ears, being short, jingle bell shoes, leggings… I’M TURNING INTO AN ELF. Wait, does that mean I can light leap? And I can live in a crazy big house? And I have a special ability? But most of all, DOES THAT MEAN I GET TO MEET KEEFE?
Mercy: Woah, first off, you are not an elf. And even if you were and you could meet Keefe, you wouldn’t go without me. Because I’m not missing an opportunity to meet Keefe.
Dark voice: Actually, he is an elf. 100%. And there’s nothing you can… well technically the elf transformation hasn’t fully been completed so he’s not an elf yet, but he will soon be one. And then you, Mercy Wideman, will suffer.
Mercy: Wait, why are you making me suffer?
Dark voice: Because you’ve done things to me that I will never forget. You chained me up and left me to die.
Mercy: Ok, well considering the fact that I don’t know who you are, and I’ve never done that to anyone, then I don’t think I was the one who did that to you.
Tikva: So, we’re just gonna ignore the fact that your brother just turned into an elf?
Mercy: No, he’s gonna help me. Micah, write down her answers, I gotta deal with this weird low-voice guy who thinks I almost killed him. So… age, grade, and where you live. Go.
Tikva: I’m 12, in 6th grade, and I live in Istanbul, Turkey.
Mercy: If only I had my questions. But that darn llama stole them. Good thing I remember at least some of them.
Tikva: Who?
Joshua: It’s a long story, but it’s a good thing I’m here because I have your questions. Where have you lived and what is your favorite place that you have lived?
Tikva: I’ve lived in Kansas City and Thailand, but I’d say my favorite is Istanbul.
Joshua: Nice. Alright, what about your siblings?
Tikva: I have two. David and Essie.
Joshua: What TPS classes are you taking?
Tikva: Just Writing Fundamentals 6.
Mercy: What’s a fun fact about you?
Tikva: I’m a pumpkin!
Mercy: Indeed, you are. How did we meet?
Tikva: I just remember that it was a long time ago. I was three and you were four. We were so cute!
Mercy: I completely agree. Can you believe it’s been eight years? Next question, if you could sum up yourself in three words, what would they be?
Tikva: Unique, fun, and active.
Joshua: Alright, let’s see, what about your talents?
Dark voice: Actually, Mercy added some questions to her list that you just skipped.
Mercy: Yeah, wait, how did you know that?
Dark voice: I can read your mind.
Micah: So, you’re a telepath? Like Fitz? Ugh. When I meet Keefe, I really hope he’s not with Fitz.
Mercy: Oh, come on, Fitz is awesome. And for the love Micah, you’re not going to meet Keefe.
Joshua: Who are Fitz and Keefe?
Mercy and Micah together: Keeper of the Lost Cities.
Joshua: Ah. I’ve never read those. Well anyway, moving on.
Mercy: So, your talents?
Tikva: Well, I can sing, act, and do gymnastics.
Joshua: Nice. What about some of your hobbies?
Tikva: I like playing with friends, crocheting, and petting cats.
Mercy: All very fun things to do. What’s your favorite Christmas tradition?
Tikva: The Christmas Eve party we have every year with you guys. And of course, singing Christmas carols.
Mercy: Ah yes, the Christmas Eve party is always great. Alright, when do you start listening to Christmas music?
Tikva: Usually November.
Mercy: If you start listening to Christmas music before December 1st, that’s a serious disgrace in my house.
Micah: It’s true. Though maybe now that I’m an elf I listen to it more.
Mercy: My gosh Micah, you’re not an- (looks at Micah for the first time) oh wow, you really are an elf.
Micah: I told you.
Tikva: Speaking of Micah turning into an elf, are we just going to ignore that some low-voiced telepath, who was the one who turned your brother into an elf, is hiding in your house to get revenge on you because he thinks you almost killed him?
Mercy: Nah, it’ll be fine.
Tikva: (mutters) Widemans (shakes her head)
Mercy: True. Moving on, if money was no object, what would you do all day?
Tikva: I would buy a ton of pets, and make the world a better place.
Mercy: That’s awesome. What about a fun story that’s happened in your life?
Tikva: Well, my mom, my sister, and I were in a little boat in a lake in Florida one time, and then all of a sudden, a whole school of flying fish just started pelting us. So, that was the end of our time in the lake.
Mercy: Oooo, getting pelted by flying fish. Fun! Can you list some of your favorites?
Tikva: Blue, pink, all animals, music, and nature.
Mercy: Nice, who’s someone you want to be like and why?
Tikva: I’d say my grandpa. He’s funny, nice, godly, and can sing really well.
Joshua: Sounds great, what about your favorite Bible verse?
Tikva: 1 Peter 1:2 which says, “according to the foreknowledge of God the Father and set apart by the Spirit for obedience and [for the] sprinkling with the blood of Jesus Christ. May grace and peace be multiplied to you.”
Mercy: Beautiful verse! Alright, anything else you want to say to the readers?
Tikva: If you have to dry the dishes, such an awful, boring chore, if you have to dry the dishes, and you don’t want to any more, if you half to dry the dishes and you drop one on the floor, then maybe they won’t let you dry the dishes any more.
Mercy: Great quote. Well that’s about all the time we have for today. (Turns on the TV)
Larry the Cucumber: Remember kids, God made you special.
Bob the Tomato: And he loves you very much.
Larry and Bob: Goodbye!
Mercy: (turns off the TV) Well thanks for coming, I got to go find out who this telepath weirdo is. See you later.
Tikva: Good luck, bye.
Mercy: Alright, whoever you are…
Dark voice: (emerges from the shadows just as Tikva is leaving)
(Everyone gasps)
Dark voice: It is I! Sir George Chalupa Nickelback Frederickson CCLXLIV! I have come back to end you, Mercy Wideman.
Mercy: Hold up, you said I left you chained up. I put you in a zoo.
Fred: What’s a zoo?
Mercy: It’s where animals go to get taken care of and to be displayed for people to feed and pet. You know, I thought for a telepath, you’d be a lot smarter. Speaking of which, how are you a telepath?
Fred: (ignores the question) Oh, well. This has been a huge misunderstanding then. Sorry. Here, take these 100 bucks (coughs) that I found in Joshua’s pocket (coughs) and I’ll just be on my way. (proceeds to jump out the window onto Joshua’s unicorn and rides away)
Joshua: Oh come on, how am I going to get back to college now if I don’t have my unicorn? Wait, where did my $100 go?
Tikva: I think Fred stole your money.
Mercy: And he gave it to me. And no, I’m not giving it back.
Joshua: (mutters)
Micah: I’M AN ELF!