There’s a moment I vividly remember from my childhood that I had never shared with anyone until recently. I had locked it up deep in my memory, hardly daring to unlock it myself. I was 11, and my parents were going through a divorce. I remember this specific day when I sat shaking, tears streaming so fast, never ceasing long enough so that I could decipher between them and the shower water pouring down on me. Trying to ground myself, I traced the drops of water down the sides of the glass walls. Eventually, I stood and I carried on, for resilience had taken root in my life.
On days when I am lacking motivation or struggling to unveil strength, I think back to the shell of my current self that I was. I think about the cutting words spoken to me that year, the quivers in my voice, and the unsteadiness of my steps. Then, I remember that I chose to fight then, and that now, I owe it to my eleven year old self to continue to fight, for what would have happened if I hadn’t chosen to fight? This reaction, this coping mechanism of always choosing strength sometimes leads to exhaustion. I know my strength, that comes from my Heavenly Father, but tiredness can still ensue.
Vulnerability has always been a difficult concept for me to grasp. I default to strength. I ignore weakness or doubts or anxieties in hopes that they will dissipate. But, recently, I have begun to realize that holding this position is not always the answer. Instead, I have discovered the power of faithful vulnerability, in choosing faith over fears, and choosing to speak of our fears openly.
Regarding how to handle difficult times, James, the brother of Jesus writes: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (NIV). This passage doesn’t sugar coat the fact that Christians will experience trials, but rather commands us to find joy in our troubles. The ESV annotations explain that, “The Greek word for testing, dokimion, denotes a positive test to make one’s faith genuine. The result is steadfastness, a life of faithful endurance amid troubles and afflictions.”
Both James and the Lord know that trials are a part of the faith. Living faithfully is not an easy task, and life itself is not always smooth. In fact, in 2 Corinthians 11:25-26, Paul recounts some of his struggles: “Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers” (NIV).
This verse is a perfect depiction of faithful vulnerability. Paul does not hide his struggles, but rather shares them, showing that even he is susceptible to conflicts and danger. He is vulnerable in sharing his experiences, and in so lives as a Christ follower. He tells this story, shares the trials of his life, but never loses the focus on eternal riches and gifts. Paul has faith in the God that he serves, and knows that redemption and justice will come about on his behalf because of the power of the Lord that he professes. He is vulnerable to human standards, but knows that he is strong in the strength of the Lord.
Later in 2 Corinthians 11:30-31 read, “If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, who is to be praised forever, knows that I am not lying” (NIV). These verses from Corinthians demonstrate that “God triumphs amid human weakness, according to the ESV annotations.. This fact, coupled with the idea of finding joy in triumphs, allows Christians to be vulnerable and to share the inner struggles of their hearts, for they are already known by the Lord. There is joy to be found in these struggles, as Christ’s almightiness and omniscience will help us to find it.
To close, in her devotional, Strong, Lisa Bevere writes, “It is in the hard times of trial that we discover where we have placed our trust or drawn our strength. It is in the dry seasons of life that we discover the depth of our well. Seasons of abundance rarely reveal what we are made of. In so many ways trials and hardship are our spiritual strength trainers” (Bevere). Let us practice faithful vulnerability and not shy away from the hardships in our life, but rather openly share it, reflecting the light of our Savior and finding joy in our struggles. Let us recount our fears and worries remembering that we have the Creator of the Universe to fall back on. Let us stay firm yet vulnerable in our faith by relying solely on Him.
Works Cited:
Bevere, Lisa. Strong: Devotions to Live a Powerful & Passionate Life. Thomas Nelson, 2020.
ESV Study Bible: English Standard Version. Crossway, 2011.
NLT Study Bible. Tyndale House Pub., 2008.
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