“I wish we could go to a galaxy far, far away!” “Lili!” shrieked one of her older sisters as Lili’s feet began transforming into tiny white comets. “What’s happening?” her other sister cried, panic in her voice. Gripping both of their arms tightly, Lili reassured them with a calming, reasonable […]
Tag: Humor
Inigo Montoya Carves a Stamp
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, sixth Dread Pirate Roberts and scourge of the seas. Ever since my great friend Westley handed over his pirate business to me and retired, life has been, in a word, amazing. As you may have heard from fearfully-whispered rumors, business is booming, and the […]
Melted Metal, Cracked Dishes, and Marzipan Pigs
The New Year has come! How did you spend the night? Did you stay up late watching movies and munching on an unspeakable number of chocolate-coated pretzels? Did you throw confetti as the clock struck twelve? Or, perhaps, did you spend the day smashing your mother’s finest chinaware? While that […]
How the Grinch Stole a Brother
“Yellow four. Go.” Lili raised her green eyes expectantly to her younger brother’s, whose eyes matched her own. With a devious smirk, the blond played a plus four/change-the-color card, crushing Lili’s dreams of winning. Kieran only had two cards left, and Lili now had seven. As she picked up, her […]
Why We Should Not be a Soggy Pile of Pine Needles
Have you ever wrestled a Christmas tree? I wouldn’t recommend it. Just think about this: the tree is much larger than you; it has pokey barbs covering it that will impale you from every angle, and it itself cannot feel pain. It would be akin to fighting a giant toddler […]