Theology & Worldview

14 Days-Chapter 7

~A Fraction of Eternity (September 7-8)~

The golden orb’s light bathed our features in amber. Now, I could finally see how deep the bags under Shrep’s scarlet-rimmed eyes were, meaning she could probably sense the fear in mine. I shivered as an autumn wind brushed past us.

“Shrep…” Forcing myself not to gaze at a fascinating crack in the floor, I held up the orb in one hand and croaked, “This is what I needed to tell you about.”

Leaning forward, Shrep squinted at my palm, then rubbed her eyes. She studied my outstretched hand, a nervous smile twisting her lips. Finally, she asked, “Sorry, but, um… what did you need to tell me about?”

I blanched, my pulse spiking as Shrep’s words tangled my stomach into knots. “What do you mean? Wait— can’t you see the orb?” Trying to quench my sudden nausea, I inhaled some Capri-sun and half-choked.

Shrep avoided my gaze and shrugged, swiping at her glassy eyes. Honey-glazed tears dripped down her cheeks as the orb’s golden light traced her dark curls into a halo around her face. Heat building behind my eyes, I stared at her in mounting panic.

“Shrep.” I whispered her name like a prayer. “I’m holding the golden orb in my hand right now. That’s why I can see your face— it’s why everything looks so bright. Doesn’t everything look weirdly bright?” Frantically, I waved the orb in front of Shrep’s unblinking gaze.

“Lai, I don’t think things look that bright,” she replied, voice breaking. “You know what? It’s getting cold. Why don’t we head back inside?”

“No thank you. I think it’s nice out here.“

“This was my mistake,” Shrep muttered to herself, attacking her eyes with a tissue. She turned towards me and slipped a hand under my arm, tugging me to my feet. “Here, lean on me. Let’s go back in.”

“No!” I protested, hysteria creeping into my tone as I shrugged out of her grip. “The weather’s fine. I want to stay. Please, Shrep.”

“Lai,” Shrep choked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. But if you really want to stay, I’ll stay.”

She crumpled back into her chair.

As I hugged the orb, its warmth gradually crept into my bones while I wept into my sleeve. With every pulse, it heralded my reckoning. How could Shrep not see what I was staring at with my own eyes, what I held with my own hands? Maybe I was actually losing my mind. How could she believe anything I said from now on? The real Lai was gone already.

Noticing my drenched sleeve, Shrep hesitated before offering me a tissue.

“Thanks,” I rasped.

“Yeah, of course. Do you, um, want a jacket?”

Refusing to meet her gaze, I mumbled, “It’s ok. The orb’s keeping me warm.”

Eyes still streaming tears, Shrep started to chuckle hysterically before shoving her hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter.

Suddenly, the roar of a motorcycle burst into the night, and a voice called out, “Hey, girls! Hope I didn’t miss anything too amazing. Came as fast as I could, but I also took time for y’all’s trinkets because I know they’re the real reason you hang out with me.”

Shrep’s gaze locked onto the oncoming figure with quiet disdain as she furiously wiped her tears away. Meanwhile, I shoved the orb back into my pocket before turning to face the figure. Though I loved my aunt, I didn’t want to replay my heartbreak with her.

***

[WeChat]

September 8

AmandaBear: heyy, sis!

Grace: jiejie*, hi! how was your visit with lai?

AmandaBear: tbh, as well as it could go given the circumstance. when i pulled up at the hospital parking lot, she and shrep were still picnicking, though i doubted their clothes could keep out the evening chill. after exchanging pleasantries, i handed each kid an indiana jones keychain and a slender volume of ancient chinese poetry like the ones mom used to have us read

Grace: lol i remember you pretended to hate but secretly adored them

AmandaBear: ughh that’s right. anyway, you know the look shrep gets when she’s trying to act carefree in front of lai, but is broken inside? that night it twisted her face full-force. refusing to look me in the eye, she passive-aggressively stuffed her gifts into her backpack then claimed she needed to head home for the school day. after squeezing lai’s hand, she fled.

trying to ignore lai’s tear-streaked cheeks, i settled into shrep’s old chair and asked how she was holding up.

she shrugged, wondered if i’d found what i was looking for.

“no, actually,” i admitted, my cheeks burning. “and i’m sorry for not being there. that wasn’t cool. shrep emailed me about her idea for a picnic yesterday, so i came back as soon as i could, but… you know what? that’s no excuse. forgive me, lai.”

lai’s gaze bore into mine, but she merely shrugged. “it’s alright, ayi**. i’m just glad you’re here now.”

grace, your daughter is a wonderful person to forgive me like that, and i had to blink away tears. before i could pull lai into a hug, however, golden rays burst from her pocket, and i jerked away. “what the heck is that?”

Lai froze, her mouth agape. slowly, her trembling fingers drew out a marble with golden threads pulsing in the center. “you mean this?” she croaked.

feeling as though a steamroller had pulverized my thoughts, I choked, “lai, where did you find that?” it couldn’t be.

“it just came to me,” she admitted.

“that’s the orb i’ve been looking for,“ i wheezed, tearing my hands through my hair and beginning to pace. “stupidly, i thought it could heal you, so i went looking for it.”

Lai’s eyes flicked from my face to her orb as she took a steadying breath. “shrep couldn’t see it. that’s why we were fighting. but the orb…” she paused, opened her mouth, hesitated.

I told the sweet child to take her time.

gripping the orb tighter, Lai croaked, “you were right before. the orb healed my spirit; it leads me to the golden gate– it leads me to eternity. I know this sounds crazy, but I think you should take it.”

trying to stifle my laughter, I explained gently how she was the sick one.

“yeah, but… i’m ok now.” lai’s dark eyes reflected the orb’s golden aura as she took my hand in hers, then slipped the orb into my palm. “not that dying isn’t hard— i’m terrified. but you can see it. i think that means you can also be healed. please, ayi.”

“ok,” i choked, my fingers closing around the orb’s beating heart. how could you refuse your dying niece? “happy now?”

a small smile graced Lai’s face. “Happy.”

 

*Jie jie is a Chinese word meaning “older sister”

*Ayi is a Chinese word meaning “aunt”

 

Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/motorcycle-sunset-route-roads-724607/

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