Hello.
My name is Inigo Montoya, sixth Dread Pirate Roberts and scourge of the seas.
Ever since my great friend Westley handed over his pirate business to me and retired, life has been, in a word, amazing. As you may have heard from fearfully-whispered rumors, business is booming, and the infamy of the Dread Pirate Roberts name has spread to every corner of the globe. Just last week, in fact, I had a journalist stow away on my pirate ship Revenge, in order to interview me. Somewhat apologetically, I replied that I already had as big a crew as I could ever want, and since the Dread Pirate Roberts took no prisoner, I would have to kill him in the morning…except I never got around to it for some reason.
In hindsight, this was just as well, for it so happens that not only was he a decent fellow, he was exactly the man I needed to promote a new business strategy I have been working on.
You may not have heard about it yet, but I am in the process of modernizing my piracy business. My crew and I have done some much-needed brand building and developed an all-new Dread Pirate Roberts emblem:
Brilliant, I know. You’ve probably never seen its equal.
Yes, it was without doubt a helpful development, but I must confess there are very few artists in the piracy trade, and it’s amazing how tedious it can be hand-signing the emblem on every ransom note and blackmail letter that we send out here. Needless to say, by the new year, I had resolved never to draw it again.
Eventually, my good friend and colleague Fezzik (who is now something of a legend, even among pirates), had the idea of making the logo into a stamp in order to make letter-writing more sportsmanlike. I am not sure if that word means exactly what he thinks it means, but either way, his solution was perfect.
The more I learned of the stamp-making process, the more it fascinated me, so when the journalist wondered if I would write an article about it in exchange for a great reward, I was happy to accept.
But enough talking. By now, you must be impatient to learn all the subtleties of stamp-carving.
Very well, let me explain:
No, there is too much. Let me sum up, and show you the BASICS of stamp-making. (This way, I can explain the process in further detail, and you don’t run the risk of finding out any of my trade secrets, in which case I would have to kill you.)
First, you will need a few specialty tools:
- A large, unused eraser with at least one flat side
- A small, sharp sword, kitchen knife, or ideally, a hobby knife or set of linoleum cutters
- Paint, markers, or an ink pad
- A sketchpad and pencil
As you begin your stamp, there are several things it is good to keep in mind.
Always plan your design beforehand, making sure that everything in it can be separated into manageable patches of raised and cut away areas. This way, you will not have to bother with cutting away tiny slivers of eraser later on. Remember that raised portions will be black. As you go, you can also draw shapes directly on the eraser so you don’t have to keep track of multiple lines at once.
Another important thing to keep in mind is that your final design, if it has any words in it, must be drawn BACKWARDS so that the stamped picture will read correctly.
If you have linoleum cutters, you can skip this next piece of advice, but if you are using a knife as I did, it is important that you cut at the correct angle. As you can see in the picture below, each space in the design should be cut out in a “V” shape, instead of just slicing straight down into the eraser. Slanting the edges like this helps the rubber not get bent or crushed when stamping.
Usually it is easier to begin with the larger shapes and then work your way down to the smaller details.
Ah, now comes the hard part. Carving the letters gets tricky when they are backwards, so you must concentrate very hard.
Father…guide my sword…
I mean, guide my knife…
Oh yes, maybe I should have told you before, but your blade is likely very sharp, so you might want to ask a parent for help when carving your stamp.
When it looks about finished, you can test your stamp by inking it and then stamping it onto paper. If it does not look quite perfect yet, you can always tweak it afterwards by carving away more eraser.
So. Now you know how to make stamps! May you use your newfound skills well, make lots of money off your marketing solutions, and obviously ship all your riches right into my fleet.
Now, I must await the return of the journalist and his promised reward: a set of ink pads! Of course, it is possible to use the stamp by simply coating it with paint, but if you are stamping hundreds of letters at a time, it is much more convenient to use the little ink-filled sponges.
Photo Credits: Timothy Baker
Cover photo: https://princessbride.fandom.com/wiki/Inigo_Montoya