It all started with Adam’s Time Travel Changer 3000-22…
“You can’t use your time travel machine. You’ve been grounded from use of it for a month. Senior Editor orders.”
But…. when all hope was lost for another article idea…
Cara tossed him a bunch of keys that were labeled, “CLAY ARCHIVE STORAGE KEYS”
With these, he found his way into the storage closet, accidentally pushed a button, and was bliped into another world. Here, he met a strange man, who called himself…
“And I,” said the Prince, “Am Prince Corin of Arkenland.”
Even though Adam already knew that.
And now, Part 2 of Adam’s Accidental Button Push!
—
After a rather awkward introduction on Adam’s part, he decided to explain that he was sent to help out the Prince… somehow. “Yeah, I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Adam admitted pathetically as they tramped together up the quickly steepening hill. “But if you could help me help you, then I could help! If that would help.”
Corin explained his mission: “There is an old bear, up in yonder fast-approching mountains, who chose to return to the ways of the dumb beasts. It is my intention,” he said with a jab in the air, “to either peaceably speak sense into him or to convince him in other ways.”
“You’d take on a bear? By yourself?” Adam asked in disbelief.
“Oh, I’ve beaten bears before in good-natured boxing matches. This one may be hard, but I believe with Aslan’s will I will succeed,” Corin said. “We’re nearly to the cliffs. We’ll have to climb from there.”
Climb?? Are you kidding? Please tell me you’re joking… Adam pleaded to himself.
—
Adam gripped the side of the cliff. He pulled himself up, handhold by foothold, foothold by handhold.
“A few more feet, and we’ll be at the top, Adam!” the prince shouted down to the shivering columnist.
“I don’t get paid enough for this. Oh wait, I don’t get paid at all,” Adam grumbled to himself as he finished his ascent and climbed over the top.
“Now, we should be… very close,” Corin said, as they began to tramp on the frost-covered ground. Straight in front of them was a large cave, with a bashed-in doorway and furniture scattered about.
“Yes, we’re here. It’s about as bad as I expected,” Corin said, shaking his head. Adam, who had obligingly carried some of the objects Corin had brought with him, pulled out two leather boxing mitts that he had stored in his pack and handed them to the Prince.
“Why would anyone do this? I mean, talking is really cool, right? And you have all this furniture, and fire, and warmth, and friends… It just doesn’t make sense why any talking animal would go back of their own free will to literally destroy their home for the sake of becoming a stupid beast.” Adam said, kicking a smashed piece of cabinet out of the way.
Suddenly, a small black-haired dwarf scurried toward them from their right, where the clifftop extended and curved beyond their vision. “Prince Corin!” the Son of Earth exclaimed. “Oh, we’re so glad you’ve come. Our neighbor, Mr. Lapsed Bear, he’s been in an awful state, and such a racket I’ve not heard in all my born days! And he’s constantly a-growling and a-mumbling in such tones as to make me and my brothers worry for his sanity.”
“Is he in the cave, dwarf?” Corin asked politely.
“Aye, your majesty. Oh, we’ve tried hospitality, and bringing him hot tea, and cookies, with honey too! But no gifts he’ll accept without first beating them against the wall, then smashing it to the ground, and then licking up the leftovers!”
Adam pulled out four wooden stakes from his pack. “I suppose we’ll be needing these, then. Have you any stout rope, dwarf guy?” he asked with a smile.
“Aye, sir. I’ll just be a moment. Oh, Prince, we were wondering… were you going to perhaps box our neighbor, Mr. Bear?”
Corin grinned. “I was thinking of it, dwarf.”
The stout little man rubbed his hands together with glee. “Oooh, a proper fight! We haven’t had this much excitement since my brother broke his toe and had to be carried to Anvard for the surgeon to cut it off. Oh ho ho!” He shouted giddily, racing off toward his home.
“He looks happy.” Adam said as the dwarf did a cartwheel and a handspring around the corner.
“Yes, he does. Now, let’s give them a show that Arkenland will speak of for years to come.” Corin said with a chuckle.
“Aye, sir! Let’s get inside the cave and find a suitable place.” Adam said, trudging into the wide opening.
—
The bear was rather normal-looking, as far as bears go. Adam tried not to pay much attention to the roaring, the scraping, and the noise in general the beast made as he drove four stakes into the ground in a squarish form. Once the dwarfs had come in with the rope, Adam finished the impromptu boxing ring, and Corin addressed the bear:
“Will you, bear, not willingly return to the normal ways of a talking beast? Or shall I have to convince you?” Corin said, waving his arms to the square.
The bear made a reply by digging his claws into the ground and roaring again.
“Quit that noise, kid. You’re not a lion.” Adam shouted at the bear.
It nodded, checked itself, and instead gritted its teeth.
“Very well.” The challenger stepped into the ring. The challenged grinned as talking bears do when they don’t remember they’re trying to be dumb, and followed suit.
The fight immediately started, and one could tell it would be grueling for both sides. The prince, who was light of foot and carried enormous power behind his fists, bounded around the beast and delivered punches that would knock out a man instantly. But the bear had a thick skull, so even Corin’s toughest punches seemed to carry hardly half the weight he threw at him. The fighting began to take a toll on them both.
However, as the fight progressed, Adam began to notice less and less of what was going on inside the ring and more and more of what was going on outside it. Word had spread to a bunch of other talking animals and mountain creatures: elks, goats, mice, and apparently an entire smithy of dwarves, who had put aside their bellows and weapons-making tools to watch the fight. Cheers would erupt from the crowd as Corin landed heavy blows, and most of the mice shouted advice from the sidelines, saying stuff like:
“That’s it, Prince! Give it to him! Watch out, here comes a hook! Stay on your feet!” along with so many shrill wisecracks that Adam began to write them down for use at a later time.
The fight lasted for hours. Time after time, a dwarf or a mouse would hold up their hand and shout “BREAK!” which would send the fighters to their corners for a short, thirty-second lapse between rounds.
The fight ended rather abruptly when Corin, who had taken quite a few blows to the body, wound up his right arm for another crushing blow. The bear raised his left arm to block, but Corin, so quickly everyone in the small cave gasped in one accord, jabbed the bear squarely in the nose.
“OWOWOWOWOWOWWWW” The beast howled. “OH, MY POOR NOSE…” It said, sitting down on his rump and rubbing its nose gently.
Corin belted out a hearty laugh, just as the entire audience cheered. “HOORAY FOR THE PRINCE! CORIN THUNDER-FIST!” They yelled.
Adam grinned. Wow, this was a good time. Maybe I should come again sometime. I wonder how I’ll get back… he wondered.
As these words flashed across his mind, he put his hands on his hips, where he discovered a button that had automatically clamped itself to his belt when he pressed it. Apparently the creator of the machine thought ahead far more deeply than Adam had, and installed an operator-friendly safety system just in case the return button wasn’t already in the operator’s hand, as it was with Adam. Then, poof.
As the story goes, the bear was quite reformed from then on, cleaned up his messy front doorstep, and was as good a neighboring talking bear as one could ask for. As Adam’s story goes, however, he was… not quite so reformed. After the adventure abruptly concluded itself, he found himself in the jumbled mess of a closet where he had started the whole adventure. After quickly examining his surroundings, he decided that the closet was hopelessly messy, and promptly left the storage area without giving cleaning another thought. As he dropped off the keys to Cara, he simply said,
“Thanks! It was fun. Maybe I’ll have something interesting for next month’s article.”
Here’s hoping he did!
Photo Credits:
https://unsplash.com/photos/kxzt252wB_A
Author