Joshua: Greetings, readers! Welcome to the new year! I’ve decided to kick 2022 off with a bang… well, hopefully not a literal bang, though that’s probably not out of the question… anyway, please welcome Daniel Six!
Daniel: Sup.
Joshua: Thanks for coming out here (grabs list of questions). Let’s get started, shall we?
Daniel: Well, you’re the interviewer. I’m ready when you are.
Joshua: Sweet. First question, why is Joshua so… annoying… (death glare at no one in particular)
Daniel: Uh… am I supposed answer that?
Joshua: No, but judging by this list’s prolific number of references to giraffes and beach balls, I’m thinking my brothers are going to have a lot of questions to answer later…
Daniel: Wait, someone replaced your questions with fake ones? Oh, no problem, I’ve got the original questions right here (hands Joshua a piece of paper).
Joshua: How did you…
Daniel: Carston sent me his notes from when he got spotlighted by the cloak dude. By the way, what ever happened to…
Joshua: Let’s not get into that mess. First question, how old are you and what grade are you in?
Daniel: Never mind, I’ll just ask Carston later. I’m 17 and I’m a junior. I live in Southland, Texas, since you’ll be asking that next.
Joshua: I was actually gonna ask what your siblings’ names were, but yeah, that works to.
Daniel: You changed that on the spot so I’d get it wrong, didn’t you?
Joshua: …maybe.
Daniel: I thought so. Anyways, my siblings are Isaac, Hudson, and Megan, all younger than me.
Joshua: Cool! Next question, what are some of your hobbies?
Daniel: Well, besides school, I also have a job at Chick-fil-A. In my spare time, I enjoy reading, and that’s not just because I’m homeschooled, I really do enjoy reading. I also like hanging out with my friends and dabbling in graphic design. Oh, and Brazilian Jujitsu, that’s fun to.
Joshua: So you serve delicious chicken sandwiches and you punch people in the face? Sounds awesome.
Daniel: It’s really more about locks and holds actually, not too much of the face-punching.
Joshua: Ah, my bad, thanks for explaining.
Daniel: My pleasure.
Joshua: Did you just…
Daniel: Yes. Yes I did.
Joshua: (facepalms) Well on the bright side, someone will probably think that’s funny.
Daniel: That’s the idea.
Joshua: Moving on, what classes do you take with TPS?
Daniel: AP English Language and Comp, AP US Government and Politics, Physics, and Algebra. And I’ve been with TPS for going on 4 years.
Joshua: I was just about to ask that. Do you have an idea of what you want to do when you finish school?
Daniel: Not anything specific yet, though I might consider law school at some point.
Joshua: Cool! Next question, what’s your favorite food and the weirdest food you’ve eaten?
Daniel: Favorite is probably a mashed potato bowl. They’ve got so much good stuff in them, especially when you get them at restaurants like Black-eyed Pea. The weirdest would be squid eyeball kebab, a dish I had the pleasure of trying at a market in China.
Joshua: Sounds delicious. Serious question, who is someone you want to be like?
Daniel: I’ve got two of these actually, Jordan Peterson and Andrew Klavan, two guys with really interesting perspectives on lots of things.
Joshua: Interesting! Looks like we’re almost done, just a few more questions.
Daniel: You seem to have avoided any (coughs) bangs so far.
Joshua: Yeah, let’s hope it stays that way. Next question, do you have any pets?
Daniel: Yep. We have a German Shepherd named Hunter, and I guess my sister has a hedgehog, but I really don’t like it.
Joshua: I see. Last question, what’s your favorite bible verse?
Daniel: I have a lot of favorites, but one I probably refer to the most is Proverbs 8:10-11: “Accept my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than pure gold. For wisdom is better than jewels, and nothing desirable can equal it” (CSB). I think most of my favorites are in Proverbs, there’s so much good stuff in there.
Joshua: Awesome! I think that’s…
Daniel: Oh wait, I almost forgot. Another of my favorite verses Exodus 23:19.
Joshua: (facepalms) Not the goat-boiling verse…
Daniel: (smirks) You know it.
Joshua: Alright, let’s wrap it up before something blows up. Thanks again Daniel!
Daniel: My pleasure.
Joshua: Again? Really?
Daniel: What? You can’t deny it’s a good way to end it.
Joshua: Fair enough… see you next month, everyone!