On a grand tour of Europe, you stopped to attend a live rehearsal for The Sleeping Beauty. Having fallen in love with the glittery costumes and shiny, pink pointe shoes, you twisted your dad’s arm eagerly. Now what was this about again, pointers? Oh yes, thank you! Pointers are a kind of dog used for hunting because they “point.” *giggles* I’m kidding! Now as I was saying – what? Oh, you have an audition!! That’s right! Are you excited? Tips? Pointe shoes already have tips, though, and I don’t really recommend that you – what’s that? You need tips on how to succeed in the audition? Ohhhhh! Well, why didn’t you just say that in the first place, for goodness’ sake? Here I am – get to the point! Okay, I guess that I can start with those if you really want me to. Here’s the first essential thing that you need to know: pointe shoes are magical. Every real, born-for-the-stars ballerina is born with her pointe shoes on her feet, and if she isn’t – well, you must know what that means. You weren’t? Oh, well – trivial detail. What I would suggest you do is run down to the nearest department store and buy the shiniest, pointiest pair you can find. Danger of sprained ankles? Well, not that I can really think of, but surely you’ve heard of what to do on such an occasion. Rap on it with your knuckles, injure it often – oh, never mind. Anyway, once you’ve gotten the shoes, then it should be a simple enough matter to get into the ballet school of your choice if you just follow my top-secret Audition Approval Formula, below:
1st Tip: Don’t try to learn the combination. Yes, this is slightly controversial, but here’s how I look at it – why bother wasting the time and effort to memorize the combos when there will always be another dancer right in front of you for you to follow?
2nd Tip: Don’t put rosin on your pointe shoes. It just creates a mess all over and frequently makes your feet get stuck on the floor, making you lose your balance. And anyway, a slick floor keeps you “on your toes” – well, unless you slip, of course. But really, who’s going to?
3rd Tip: Don’t use hairspray. It’s sticky, it’s stinky, and you’ll have to use twice as much shampoo than normal just to get it out. And honestly, what decent person is going to care if your hair’s a bit frizzy? It’s better for all concerned to just leave it on the shelf!
4th Tip: Don’t get there early. Some people theorize that it’ll make you look good, but honestly, it’s a big waste of time, so why go to the trouble? You could be getting yourself sucked into your favorite TV show or pretending to study for that history exam you have to take tomorrow. Besides, you’ll have to work harder if you’re a combination or two late, so you’ll have a better chance of impressing the judges. Who can argue with that?
5th Tip (and most important!): Don’t listen to tips from bored ballet dancers. They are known for giving notoriously unreliable information to unsuspecting novices.
Disclaimer: It is safe to assume that much of the advice given here is not advisable in actual practice. Please be careful!
Meet the Author
How old are you?
I am about 14-and-a-half years old.
Where do you live?
I live in the eastern part of WA state in the U.S.
What classes are you taking with TPS?
I’m taking Chemistry (Honors) with Mrs. Selby, Geometry with Mr. Manns, College British Lit and Comp with Mrs. Huisman, German 1 Language and Culture with Frau Young, and Latin 2 Language and Culture with Miss Cockerham.
What is your favorite thing about writing?
I really love writing because it gives me joy—words are just so beautiful and it’s truly very satisfying when I can at last find the right way to put something I’ve seen in my head. It definitely makes up for the frustration, annoyance, and discouragement when I cannot! So, my favorite things about writing would probably be that it makes me happy, it gives me a place to escape to when I’m bored, and it lets me express myself and my deepest thoughts in ways I could not easily otherwise.