Andrew Chen, who is best known for having Bob Dylan as his sister and his incredible skills with a gun, lay prone on the floor of an airplane. He looked through the scope of his hot pink sniper rifle, aiming out the cargo bay door at what looks like small ants. However, it became apparent upon closer inspection that these small insects were, in fact, savages who specialized in throwing knives, except from an incredibly high altitude. Without the ability to calculate how much the current weather and plane speed would interfere with the bullet’s course, could Chen still be able to hit his target? He would have succeeded if only he had not begun to practice his other skill: procrastination. As he tracked the distant form of his target, he dawdled, waiting for the exact moment when he had the best shot and also the exact moment when he finished daydreaming. However, before he could extract his mind from its momentary fog, knives began to whip through the air and clatter around him. The knife-throwing natives had begun their brutal assault! As knives flew past Chen’s head, he noticed that one carried a scrap of paper pierced by its blade. Picking it up, he realized that it was a questionnaire, which he began to fill out expediently.
List your name (or any nicknames)! If you have a nickname, where did it originate from?
I have a lot. The first nickname I got was Bob, because of my friend’s brother who swims at a pool near me; I call him Jim. I forget why. Then, people started calling me Baughb, or Bob Dylan (my sister). You can guess where those came from. After I joined TPS this year, I used Bob for my math class, since there’s another Andrew, but then got dubbed Andy by Myla McReynolds, Chen by Hope Berry and Elivia Goodin, and mostly everyone on Forums, Andre by Anise Kim, Upstart also by Anise Kim, Gen Z by Lily Voelkel, and Drew due to my Google Hangouts name.
How many years have you been with TPS, what grade are you, and how old are you?
This has been my first year doing TPS. I’m thirteen and in eighth grade.
What classes are you taking this year, if any, and why did you pick them?
I’m taking Honors Algebra with Mrs. O’Hearn, English 1 with Mrs. Massie, and Honors Physical Science. I didn’t really pick them, my parents did.
What’s your passion, and why do you enjoy it?
My passion would most likely be procrastination, aircraft, or guns. Procrastination is amazing, because I get to not do homework, and efficiently compact all my schoolwork into short time slots close to the due date! Aircraft are just fascinating to me, because I think it is just truly amazing how a hunk of metal and random stuffs can fly. I like guns because I love the satisfaction of accurately putting a piece of metal into the center of a target. The feeling is just awesome. Lots of people think guns are terrible and ugly, and that they kill people, but the truth is, kitchen knives are just as deadly. I shoot a lot with my friends, and want to be a sniper when I grow up.
If you could be an animal, what would you be and why? Is there a part of your personality that influenced your answer?
Probably a cheetah or mako shark, because I love speed. Otherwise, I would choose to be a peregrine falcon or some kind of bird of prey.
What is something you would like to do one day and why?
I would like to cliff dive, skydive, play paintball, and water-ski someday. All of these because adrenaline is dope.
What is your favorite word and why?
How about a rebel yell? A rebel yell is simply the epitome of emotion. Rage, happiness, playfulness, all wrapped into one. It is truly a masterpiece of linguistics.
What is your MBTI type?
I haven’t taken one of those tests, but I’m an extrovert, and even more so when I get to know someone.
If you could be a color, what color would you be and why?
I actually wrote a poem about hot pink. I’d like to be that color because it looks lit. And also #toughguyswearpink; it is totally unexpected.
What’s your favorite movie and book, and why?
My favorite movie would be Fury, because it shows how sad and terrible war is. It really is a great movie, it’s very touching, and I strongly recommend it. Disclaimer: it contains some profanity. Gemini Man is also a pretty sweet movie. If you watch it you’ll probably see why I want to be a sniper.
My favorite book is a tie between Hatchet, by Gary Paulson, and Hellbent, by Greg Hurwitz. I love Hatchet because it’s just a really interesting survival story, and, while being entertaining, also taught me a lot about wilderness survival. Hellbent is a great suspense/thriller novel, about a professional assassin. Who doesn’t love a good thriller?
Do you prefer dogs or cats? Have you had a negative experience with either one of them that influenced your answer?
I’ll have to say dog, since I’m mildly allergic to cats. Dogs are fun and loving and stuff, but cats are fuzzier.
Favorite subject, and why?
That’s gotta be PE, since it’s the only subject I’m legit good at, and I’m hyper-competitive, and therefore I despise anything I am bad at. If I had to pick an academic subject, math would be my favorite, but I don’t really like school that much.
Fiction or non-fiction? Why do you like one of them more?
I like them both since fiction makes for better stories, but less realism, while non-fiction can be informative and realistic, and tell an interesting story at the same time. If I had to choose, I would probably pick non-fiction.
What is an interesting story from your life?
This is hard! My life isn’t very interesting. Once I won a swim relay race? Once I was asked out by someone? I can’t think of a specific story off the top of my head that would NOT spill too much tea. Perhaps things shall be revealed later on in my life’s journey…Lately I was dared to become an e-boy. I did it and took a picture. Those who read this who are on Forums probably already know this.
Which holiday is your favorite? Was there a specific incident in your life that influenced your preference?
It’s a tie between Christmas and April Fools’ Day. The Fourth of July is pretty nice, too. Christmas is just nice because everyone gets together to celebrate and exchange presents. April Fool’s Day is just a great big day some genius invented as an excuse to do what I do all the time. As I say, the work of a genius. The patriotism displayed on the Fourth of July is just really inspiring. Wow, that sounded corny.
Do you have any other sentiments that you would like to share?
I’m guessing no political sentiments?
Football is seriously too fun; so is laser tag. Cars, snipers, and fighter jets are awesome. Feel free to VM me on TPS Forums, I only make more time for myself when I procrastinate! And shoutout to all my friends that have been just amazing to me, even though this is only my first year at TPS! (Sarge, Berry, Capslock, General H, VSCO gal, Gutwein, Soph, Myla, Boomer 1, Boomer 2 (my fellow Nats fan!), Wesley Truhlar, Jackson (#rednecksrock), Zasada… and the rest of you, y’all know who you are)! Thanks to Nicholas for doing this.