Welcome to my music column, readers! Yes, music. Not humor.
A little bit of personal lore: when I first applied to clay way back in 2019, I requested for the position of – wait for it – music columnist. Now evidently, I had written my music column a bit oddly as the Senior Editors accepted my position for humor columnist. Being the scofflaw that I am, I decided to accept the semi-esteemed role of humor columnist and secretly disguise all of my “humor” columns as track reviews. So take a break from reading this, go check out my previous and squint really hard, and you’ll see a music column! Or maybe actually funny writing. One of the two.
In any case, this week I will compose a more music-oriented column under the guise of it being April Fool’s and rate the globe-spanning musical masterpiece “PPAP.”
We mostly hate them, but can’t get them out of our heads. But this “authentically enjoyable” EDM track is more than just another earworm, but the perfect marriage of bass, electronic, and the surreal.
Over a repetitive intro composed of electronic noises diminuendo, the artist and brain behind the track sings the words we know all too well.
“I have a pen
I have an apple
Uh! Apple Pen!”
The slightly monotonous bass right as this point reinforces the message of the song: Yes, you want a pen pineapple apple pen, whatever that is. And you will think about this odd semblance of lines for quite some time.
This goes on for a while, perhaps more than necessary. In any case, intros are not the most important, as we head towards the chorus, which is (arguably) the best part of the song:
“PEN PINEAPPLE APPLE PEN!!!”
Sung over a speedy, uptempo chorus, that will haunt you for a while.
The aforementioned “uptempo beats” and slightly glitched out/remixed noises near the halfway point audibly manifest the sensation of receiving a pen-pineapple-apple-pen as a gift: namely some amount of joy at getting free fruits and writing instruments, but also an unshakable sense of confusion.
The perfect communication of the emotions of PPAP through sounds illustrates Pikotaro’s unrivaled musical genius at compounding lyrical and instrumental effects.
Now if you watch the music video (extended version only, please) you will experience a minor form of sensory overload. Pikotaro’s dance moves reflect the extensive training of a true master. Unfortunately, my review must end here as I’ve already listened to this song 4 times and feel a tad sick.