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Explaining Politics to Hobbits

BAG END — My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses, and Proudfoots. I shall not keep you long; I have called you all together for a Story. I know you’re accustomed to the events here on Middle-Earth, but today I present to you the events on Earth (the real one). Earth is a place where no hobbits, no dragons, nor elves roam. Think of Gondor, a city of men — except they call it “Washington D.C.”

Now, let me begin by discussing some of the procedures and practices of Earth’s government. Like the Council of Elrond, Earth’s politicians also hold meetings. For us, we decided on the destruction of the Ring. They also have important matters to decide upon: nuclear weapons and peace talks, for example.

Many meetings and councils take place at the White House. Sorry, I ought to explain what I mean by “White House.” Indeed, you hobbits have heard of the Black Tower, where Frodo was sent to destroy the Ring. That’s the central building for the Orcs, the “White House” of Mordor.

Anyhow, let us move on to the recent events bubbling on Earth. First, they are fighting the coronavirus, a respiratory disease that has caused some havoc in economies and countries. Many people are under quarantine by mandate, like Saruman locked up in Isengard and guarded by Treebeard. Not very pleasant. Others are declaring self-quarantine, that is, quarantine by will—kind of like us hobbits in our hobbit homes. People have stocked up on food, water, hand sanitizer, and toilet paper. Bah, I won’t bother explaining toilet paper. But we ought to be sympathetic. If such a disease arrived at Hobbiton, poor us — think of all your Breakfasts, Second Breakfasts, Elevenses, Luncheon, Afternoon Teas, Dinners, Suppers. We would indeed suffer. As of March 15, there are over 2,900 confirmed coronavirus cases and 57 total nationwide deaths in the United States (a country on Earth).

There is also another brewing event in this “Washington D.C.”: a fight for preciousssss power. The 11th Democratic debate took place on March 15 in Washington D.C., where former VP Joe Biden and Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) hashed it out for who will be the party’s nominee. But the debate did not have live audience due to concerns over the coronavirus, as I just mentioned. It is the first debate since Super Tuesday when Biden emerged as the party’s front-runner. 

In Middle-Earth, we don’t have any debates, I know. The closest might have been Denethor and Aragorn. You know the story: Denethor was the temporary ruler of Gondor, having the city and army at his command, while Aragorn doesn’t. But Aragorn is the rightful High King of Arnor and Gondor, the heir of Elendil and Isildur. Let the debate begin!

So that’s politics for you, my dear hobbits: a rollercoaster of adventure… there and back again.

 

Sources:

<https://www.businessinsider.com/arizona-biden-vs-sanders-debate-start-time-how-to-watch-2020-3>

<https://www.pxfuel.com/en/search?q=tolkien> (Photo)

<https://www.theonering.net/torwp/2019/10/25/30382-today-in-middle-earth-october-25/> (Photo)

<https://the-lords-of-the-rings.fandom.com/wiki/Barad-Dur> (Photo)

<https://curtisofletcher.com/2014/08/13/aragorn-vs-denethor-runner-manager-or-leader/> (Photo)

<https://www.nationalreview.com/the-morning-jolt/joe-biden-is-in-real-trouble/> (Brendan McDermid/Reuters – Photo)

<https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-welch-bernie-sanders-already-won-20190220-story.html> (Olivier Douliery/TNS – Photo)

56 Comments

  1. 😂😂😂 I never actually saw the connection! Great Job!

  2. this is great!! during quarantine we have watched all of the Hobbits and we just need to watch the Return of the King and then we will have watched all of them lol 😀

  3. this is so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good job!!

  4. Lol! I just read The Hobbit for English. This is so creative! Great job, Elva!

  5. 🙂 “looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!” This is my family’s favorite LOTR quote!

  6. 🤣I love this too much for words🤣

  7. oms this is just supper good! A crazy hobbit and lotr fan like me enjoyed every part of this!! terrrific job~

  8. this is amazing!! “I won’t even try to explain toilet paper” and “Think of all of our meals!!”

    I actually got curious and decided to find the schedule to their meals. This is what I found:
    Breakfast – 7 a.m.
    Second Breakfast – 9 a.m.
    Elevenses – 11 a.m.
    Luncheon – 1 p.m.
    Afternoon Tea – 3 p.m.
    Dinner – 6 p.m.
    Supper – 9 p.m.

  9. a fan of hobbitses

    This is great I love it!

  10. Well done! I can see the comparisons!

  11. Lord of the Rings Fan

    This was absolutely great! I loved it. XD

  12. Merriadoc Brandybuck

    I think

  13. “You’ve been in Farmer Maggot’s crop!

  14. HAHA I love this

  15. All we’ve had to eat for three days is moldy bread! I can’t stand quarantine!

    Haha jk

  16. Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!

  17. *chopping noises*

  18. Haha! I love reading through all of your favorite Lord of the Rings quotes!
    “What’s taters, precious, eh, what’s taters?” “Po-ta-toes!!!”

  19. You shall not pass!!!

  20. My favourite Lord of the Rings quote is “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” Lol.

  21. We likes this article, my precioussssss!

  22. THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOO HILARIOUS!!!!! GJ!

  23. PROUDFEET!!

  24. Haha! This is great! I love the connections you made with some things in Middle Earth and our earth! It was hilarious! Great job Elva!

  25. Poor Hobbits would face a lot of difficulties in limiting their trips to the grocery store in today’s climate! I should know, I’m part Hobbit.

    • LOL
      well fortunately for me, I was given lembas by Queen Melian of Doriath… so I don’t need to worry about going to the grocery store. What I do need to worry about is werewolves, orcs, Sauron, and Morgoth. lol

    • Mrs. Brown!! Haha, no wonder you’re such a good teacher! 😀
      “My dear Mrs. Brown!’ exclaimed Gandalf. ‘Hobbits really are amazing creatures, as I have said before. You can learn all about Physics in a year, and yet after a hundred years they can still surprise you at a pinch.” ~The Fellowship

  26. Alessandra Gugliotti

    Ahhh!! I love this so much. You virtually combined two of my favorite things and I love it, I love it. Awesome job!!!