BAG END — My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses, and Proudfoots. I shall not keep you long; I have called you all together for a Story. I know you’re accustomed to the events here on Middle-Earth, but today I present to you the events on Earth (the real one). Earth is a place where no hobbits, no dragons, nor elves roam. Think of Gondor, a city of men — except they call it “Washington D.C.”
Now, let me begin by discussing some of the procedures and practices of Earth’s government. Like the Council of Elrond, Earth’s politicians also hold meetings. For us, we decided on the destruction of the Ring. They also have important matters to decide upon: nuclear weapons and peace talks, for example.
Many meetings and councils take place at the White House. Sorry, I ought to explain what I mean by “White House.” Indeed, you hobbits have heard of the Black Tower, where Frodo was sent to destroy the Ring. That’s the central building for the Orcs, the “White House” of Mordor.
Anyhow, let us move on to the recent events bubbling on Earth. First, they are fighting the coronavirus, a respiratory disease that has caused some havoc in economies and countries. Many people are under quarantine by mandate, like Saruman locked up in Isengard and guarded by Treebeard. Not very pleasant. Others are declaring self-quarantine, that is, quarantine by will—kind of like us hobbits in our hobbit homes. People have stocked up on food, water, hand sanitizer, and toilet paper. Bah, I won’t bother explaining toilet paper. But we ought to be sympathetic. If such a disease arrived at Hobbiton, poor us — think of all your Breakfasts, Second Breakfasts, Elevenses, Luncheon, Afternoon Teas, Dinners, Suppers. We would indeed suffer. As of March 15, there are over 2,900 confirmed coronavirus cases and 57 total nationwide deaths in the United States (a country on Earth).
There is also another brewing event in this “Washington D.C.”: a fight for preciousssss power. The 11th Democratic debate took place on March 15 in Washington D.C., where former VP Joe Biden and Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) hashed it out for who will be the party’s nominee. But the debate did not have live audience due to concerns over the coronavirus, as I just mentioned. It is the first debate since Super Tuesday when Biden emerged as the party’s front-runner.
In Middle-Earth, we don’t have any debates, I know. The closest might have been Denethor and Aragorn. You know the story: Denethor was the temporary ruler of Gondor, having the city and army at his command, while Aragorn doesn’t. But Aragorn is the rightful High King of Arnor and Gondor, the heir of Elendil and Isildur. Let the debate begin!
So that’s politics for you, my dear hobbits: a rollercoaster of adventure… there and back again.
<https://www.nationalreview.com/the-morning-jolt/joe-biden-is-in-real-trouble/> (Brendan McDermid/Reuters – Photo)
<https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-welch-bernie-sanders-already-won-20190220-story.html> (Olivier Douliery/TNS – Photo)