Boredom Busters!

Hello, my dear readers!  It’s February, and we’re deep in the winter doldrums.  Outside, it is gloomy, cold, or slushy depending on where you live, and inside there is homework, and independent of where you live, there is homework inside.  Generally, there is boredom.

Let the boredom begone, and engage in my incredibly fun and safe (for the most part) boredom busters!

  1. The Spider Challenge:

We all know about spiders.  Spiders crawl on ceilings and eat bugs.  But did you know… that humans can also crawl on ceilings and eat bugs?  Simply put some bug-derived food product (cricket protein bar, fried cicada, actual bug, etc) into your mouth and then use your ace parkour skills to climb up the nearest wall.  Apply Elmer’s glue to your hands, and master the art of climbing on the CEILING!  Post this on YouTube and let the likes roll in.

  1. The Buttering Bread Challenge:

Ah, buttering bread.  A very simple task, usually combined with pouring milk into cereal and slicing oranges for breakfast.  Until its not!

This boredom buster is designed to use up as much of your time as possible.  Simply design the most humanly difficult way of buttering bread.  Hanging off your bed upside down while buttering bread with a paintbrush?  Amateur.  I’ll wait for you to catch up while I bungee jump over a volcano while playing Dance Dance Revolution, and lest I forget, putting butter on bread.

  1. Revolt!

Revolutions are always fun.  Just ask the French!  Or the British!  Or most of Europe!  Start your own revolution today, no overpowering dictatorship to overthrow necessary.  To begin, simply gather a small and willing following (siblings are great!).  Then, come up with a motto!  Mine was “Pen Pineapple Apple Pen”.  Finally, viva la revolution!  Even if you just run around screaming “revolt”, that’ll probably count.

  1. Play/invent games

We all love games, be they video games, board games, or lawn games.  So obviously, to stave off boredom, you should play something.  Even better, make your own game!  For example, last time I combined Game of Life and Monopoly to create the incredibly fun game of Realtors Monopolize the Market.  There was only one career path – Realtor – and instead of Monopoly money as currency, we used all the little houses. Victory was nearly guaranteed, as everyone started out with a quintillion lego bricks, which were also considered currency.  All was going well until I realize these plebeian “lego bricks” were actually my precious Millennium Falcon smashed in two.  So I flipped the meticulously organized game board.  Which brings me to my next boredom buster…

  1. Throw a tantrum!

We are teenagers and/or middle schoolers.  My readership, that is.  We are continuing on our endless march to maturity.  We read smart things like textbooks, Wikipedia and Dog-Man comic books.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t throw tantrums!  Flip the board.  Juggle the pieces.  Go Wreck-It Ralph on your pillow.  Scream.  Whatever makes you happy.  Remember, don’t destroy too much property.

And that wraps it up for my boredom busters this month!  I’m having fun in my nice tree house right now.  The end of the school year is in sight!  Keep it up everyone.

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  1. ahhh great advice

  2. XD actually it’s really hot here right now…

    Good job Aaron!

  3. wait I’m not allowed to destroy too much property??? *SCREAMS AND THROWS ANOTHER TANTRUM, SMASHING THREE MORE OF MY MOTHER’S CHINA VASES*


  4. Good job Aaron!
    Great advice =), i should really try it out some time

  5. You really got me Aaron when I’m rushed to the hospital because I can’t breathe because I’m laughing my head off I’m blaming you haha

  6. Hahaha great job Aaron!
    I’ll take ’em and see how Mom reacts XD

  7. How cool!!!! I’m gonna try them all, coz it is EXTREMELY hot here…………. so it is really to hot to go running around out side….lol good job’!!!!!!!!

  8. I tried the “Throw a Tantrum” one and my parents weren’t happy with me…

  9. Ahh, this was hilarious! My favorite is the Buttering Bread one. I’ll be sure to visit the nearest active volcano to see just how good I am…

  10. Honestly this is your best one yet! MORE BOREDOM BUSTERS!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Lol great job

  12. LOL! This was so funny!

  13. Can you beat this?? Spiraling into a black hole (without a spacesuit) – buttering bread with a sword – using no hands.