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Jake 328: Hellooooo!
Jake 328: Hello? Anyone there?
(Another awkward silence)
Jake 328: Do you guys think this thing is supposed to talk back to me?
Tom and Jerry: (Shake their heads)
Jake 328: Oh. Ok. (Ahem) Hello, faithful readers… Ooooh, that’s why it doesn’t talk to me. Anyway, I’m Jake 328. Which means I’m not Jake Prime. Which means you’re probably wondering where he is. Which means I have to tell you. Well, he mentioned something about finishing his training as a Jedi Knight, handed me some sort of recording device, told me to interview the guys in his office, and left saying he’d be back in a few hours. So here I am with… um, who are you guys again?
Tom: (Points to a schedule on the office wall)
Jake 328: What? Where? Why?
Jerry: (Facepalms, then points to the schedule exaggeratedly)
Jake 328: Huh? (Sees a lightsaber mounted on the wall next to the schedule) Oh, you want a closer look at this? I guess it wouldn’t hurt… (Pulls on the lightsaber)
Tom: (Falls through a trapdoor in the floor)
Jake 328: Oops. Wrong lever.
Tom: (Storms into the office, rips the schedule off the wall, and shoves it into Jake 328’s face)
Jake 328: Hey! Cut it out! What are you… Ooooooh, your names are on here. Ok, lemme see… Tom and Jerry?
Tom and Jerry: (Nod furiously)
Jake 328: Ok, so which one is Tom?
Tom: (Stands and points to himself proudly)
Jerry: (Seizes the opportunity to put a tack on Tom’s chair)
Jake 328: Ok, you’re Tom. Which means the mouse is Jerry, right?
Tom: (Nods and begins to sit, but jumps back up with a cry when he sits on the tack)
Jerry: (Giggles gleefully)
Jake 328: Hey, play nice! (To himself) I’m starting to see why Prime looks so tired half of the time.
Tom: (Pulls a ridiculously large mallet out of seemingly nowhere, attempts to smash Jerry with it, but misses and ends up spinning in circles)
Jerry: (Continues giggling)
Jake 328: Give me that! (Takes the mallet from Tom) I don’t think that you should be messing with these kinds of things if you don’t know how to properly use them.
Tom: (Gives Jake 328 a questioning look)
Jake 328: You almost squashed your friend! Now sit down so we can continue with the interview.
Tom: (Begins to sit, but jumps up with a cry when he sits on the tack again)
Jerry: (Falls off his chair giggling)
Tom: (Grins mischievously and places the tack on Jerry’s chair)
Jake 328: Calm down, Jerry. We need to get back to the interview or I’ll never get to ask any real questions.
Jerry: (Calms down, then climbs up onto the chair Tom was sitting on earlier)
Tom: (Completely forgets the tack he just placed on the chair and sits down on it then leaps up with a yelp)
Jake 328: Why do you keep shouting? It’s not like you keep sitting on something sharp…
Tom: (Gives Jake 328 an incredulous look, then points to the tack on his chair)
Jerry: (Swipes the tack before Jake 328 can see it)
Jake 328: What are you pointing to? There’s nothing there but the chair.
Tom: (Turns in surprise to look at the chair, then quickly sits down before Jerry can put the tack back)
Jake 328: What’s that Jerry?
Jerry: (Hiccups again)
Jake 328: Tom, see if you can help him with his hiccups.
Tom: (Smiles mischievously, takes the tack from Jerry and proceeds to poke him in the rear with it)
Jerry: (Squeaks in surprise)
Jake 328: Hey! That’s not what I meant! Oh well… Did it work?
Jerry: (Waits a few moments, then nods)
Jake 328: Good! Now we can finally get to the questions!
Jake Prime: (Peeks in through the door) Honey, I’m home!!
Jake 328: Oh hey, you’re back! …Wait, I thought you were too young to be married…
Jake Prime: It’s a joke, 328.
Jake 328: Oh. Well, we were just about to get to the questions…
Jake Prime: Actually, I think it’s time to wrap up.
Jake 328: But the timer hasn’t gone off yet…
Jake Prime: Wait for it. Wait for iiiiiiiiiiiit…
(Beep! Beep! Beep!)
Jake 328: Oh. That means it’s time to say goodbye. Well, Tom, Jerry, I guess… HEY! What are you two doing?!
Jerry: (Freezes in mid-air jumping over a crumpled paper on the floor as he runs away from Tom)
Tom: (Freezes with his mallet in mid-swing about to smash Jerry)
Jake Prime: We should probably wrap this up before someone gets smashed. Bye, everybody!
Tom and Jerry: (Both wave goodbye before returning to their chase)
Jake 328: Oh, cool! I get to do the outro! Until next time, readers… TOM! Put down that shoehorn!!