Disclaimer: This article is the exclusive property of Jake Moore and clay magazine. It may not be used, viewed, printed, used to handle hot baked goods (which is not a good idea in the first place), repurposed as a label for poison or Essence of Llama, or turned into a cow, fish, goat, octopus, duck, or whale without the expressed consent of Jake Moore and clay magazine. Violators will be fed dinner.
Jake: What’s up, world! Renegade here, (Yes, I just said the code word) and welcome back for some more hilarity and potential office destruction! So, here’s the thing. It’s November, which means Thanksgiving, and typically I like to bring a cook into my office for my November articles because of Thanksgiving. Thus, I have another excellent chef in the room with me. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the one, the only, Kronk!
Kronk: Thank you, thank you, hold the applause, please.
Jake: Ok Kronk, are you ready?
Kronk: For what?
Jake: The interview.
Kronk: (after a moment’s pause in which he gives Jake a questioning look, his face lights up in recognition) Oh, right! The interview. The interview for me. The interview written especially about me. My interview. (After another pause) That interview?
Jake: Yep, that’s the one.
Kronk: I’m all set.
Jake: Cool. So, as I said, it’s November, and that means Thanksgiving, which means…
Jake: It means a lot of food, Kronk.
Kronk: Oh yeah, gotcha.
Jake: So, what are you planning on cooking up for Thanksgiving?
Kronk: I was thinking of making a roasted ham and a green bean casserole with some gingerbread cookies on the side. And maybe some roasted chestnuts…
Jake: I think you might be confusing Thanksgiving with Christmas there, pal.
Kronk: (After considering a moment) I think you’re right. But, what should I make then?
Jake: I don’t know, maybe a turkey, some stuffing, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce? That’s typically what people make for Thanksgiving dinner.
Kronk: Oh yeah… It’s all coming together…
Jake 2: (Peaks in through the office door) Did someone mention turkey?
Kronk: Hang on a second, how are you in two places at once?
Jake: (laughs) I’m not, he just looks exactly like me. (To Jake 2) I’m in the middle of an interview right now, 2.
Jake 2: Oh, sorry, Prime. I didn’t realize you were busy. (Steps out again)
Kronk: Is he one of those impostor guys?
Jake: Yep. I invited them to a Thanksgiving dinner that Remy is helping me make here at the office. Uh, you’re welcome to lend a hand if you want.
Kronk: Gimme a sec, gotta check my schedule. I’m a very busy guy, you know. (Pulls out a notebook with empty pages) Hmm, looks like I’m free on Thanksgiving. Sure, I’ll be there!
Jake: Sweet! It’s gonna be tons of fun, trust me.
Kronk: Just one thing. I gotta get my secret ingredient.
Jake: Oh, ok. Where is it?
Kronk: In your secret lab.
Jake: How’d you know I have a secret lab?!
Kronk: Come on, of course you have a secret lab. Uh, you do have one, right?
Jake: I suppose there’s no point trying to keep it a secret since you already figured it out. Yeah, I do.
Kronk: I kinda found it by accident when you were in the bathroom before we started, I just wanted to make sure that someone else didn’t have a secret lab hidden underneath the building.
Jake: Alright, let’s go get that ingredient. To the secret lab!
(Both run over to an innocent-looking lightsaber rack with two prop lightsabers sitting in it.)
Jake: (Points to green lightsaber) Pull the lever, Kronk!
Kronk: (Pulls on a red lightsaber)
Jake: (Falling through trapdoor) WRONG LEVEEEEERR!!
Kronk: (Looks down through trapdoor) Oh.
Jake: (re-enters office through the door) Ok, why do I even have that lever? (Pulls green lightsaber)
(After a Star Wars-themed water ride down to the lab, both run over to a cabinet with spices in it.)
Jake: Ok, which one is it?
Kronk: Maybe this one? Or maybe that one? These aren’t labeled very well…
Jake: Lemme see that… Hey, this label is made from one of my articles. Somebody’s gonna be fed dinner…
Kronk: We’re looking for thyme for the turkey.
Jake: Ok… Maybe I should taste some of these to see what they are? They all look pretty much the same.
Kronk: Hmmm… Good idea. Try this one.
Jake: (Tastes a bit of the spice) Mmmm… That’s cinnamon.
Kronk: How about this one?
Jake: (Tastes a bit, then starts looking frantically for water) AHHH! That’s pepper!
Kronk: What kind?
Jake: Whatever kind it is, it has a real kick to it!
(Beep! Beep! Beep!)
Kronk: (Gasps) MY SPINACH PUFFS!
Jake: (After gulping down some water from a bottle) Relax, man. Just my timer.
Kronk: No, I just remembered I need to go take those out of the oven! Bye, everyone! (Hurries off)
Jake: Um, ok. That’s unusual. Uh… Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Until next time, “It’s Turkey Season!”
Daffy Duck: No, it’s Rabbit Season!!
Jake: (Jumps) How’d you get down here?!