Humor

Oh Yeah… It’s All Coming Together

Disclaimer: This article is the exclusive property of Jake Moore and clay magazine. It may not be used, viewed, printed, used to handle hot baked goods (which is not a good idea in the first place), repurposed as a label for poison or Essence of Llama, or turned into a cow, fish, goat, octopus, duck, or whale without the expressed consent of Jake Moore and clay magazine. Violators will be fed dinner.

Jake: What’s up, world! Renegade here, (Yes, I just said the code word) and welcome back for some more hilarity and potential office destruction! So, here’s the thing. It’s November, which means Thanksgiving, and typically I like to bring a cook into my office for my November articles because of Thanksgiving. Thus, I have another excellent chef in the room with me. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the one, the only, Kronk!

Kronk: Thank you, thank you, hold the applause, please.

Jake: Ok Kronk, are you ready?

Kronk: For what?

Jake: The interview.

Kronk: (after a moment’s pause in which he gives Jake a questioning look, his face lights up in recognition) Oh, right! The interview. The interview for me. The interview written especially about me. My interview. (After another pause) That interview?

Jake: Yep, that’s the one.

Kronk: I’m all set.

Jake: Cool. So, as I said, it’s November, and that means Thanksgiving, which means…

Kronk: Ummmmmm…

Jake: It means a lot of food, Kronk.

Kronk: Oh yeah, gotcha.

Jake: So, what are you planning on cooking up for Thanksgiving?

Kronk: I was thinking of making a roasted ham and a green bean casserole with some gingerbread cookies on the side. And maybe some roasted chestnuts…

Jake: I think you might be confusing Thanksgiving with Christmas there, pal.

Kronk: (After considering a moment) I think you’re right. But, what should I make then?

Jake: I don’t know, maybe a turkey, some stuffing, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce? That’s typically what people make for Thanksgiving dinner.

Kronk: Oh yeah… It’s all coming together…

Jake 2: (Peaks in through the office door) Did someone mention turkey?

Kronk: Hang on a second, how are you in two places at once?

Jake: (laughs) I’m not, he just looks exactly like me. (To Jake 2) I’m in the middle of an interview right now, 2.

Jake 2: Oh, sorry, Prime. I didn’t realize you were busy. (Steps out again)

Kronk: Is he one of those impostor guys?

Jake: Yep. I invited them to a Thanksgiving dinner that Remy is helping me make here at the office. Uh, you’re welcome to lend a hand if you want.

Kronk: Gimme a sec, gotta check my schedule. I’m a very busy guy, you know. (Pulls out a notebook with empty pages) Hmm, looks like I’m free on Thanksgiving. Sure, I’ll be there!

Jake: Sweet! It’s gonna be tons of fun, trust me.

Kronk: Just one thing. I gotta get my secret ingredient.

Jake: Oh, ok. Where is it?

Kronk: In your secret lab.

Jake: How’d you know I have a secret lab?!

Kronk: Come on, of course you have a secret lab. Uh, you do have one, right?

Jake: I suppose there’s no point trying to keep it a secret since you already figured it out. Yeah, I do.

Kronk: I kinda found it by accident when you were in the bathroom before we started, I just wanted to make sure that someone else didn’t have a secret lab hidden underneath the building.

Jake: Alright, let’s go get that ingredient. To the secret lab!

(Both run over to an innocent-looking lightsaber rack with two prop lightsabers sitting in it.)

Jake: (Points to green lightsaber) Pull the lever, Kronk!

Kronk: (Pulls on a red lightsaber)

Jake: (Falling through trapdoor) WRONG LEVEEEEERR!!

Kronk: (Looks down through trapdoor) Oh.

Jake: (re-enters office through the door) Ok, why do I even have that lever? (Pulls green lightsaber)

(After a Star Wars-themed water ride down to the lab, both run over to a cabinet with spices in it.)

Jake: Ok, which one is it?

Kronk: Maybe this one? Or maybe that one? These aren’t labeled very well…

Jake: Lemme see that… Hey, this label is made from one of my articles. Somebody’s gonna be fed dinner…

Kronk: We’re looking for thyme for the turkey.

Jake: Ok… Maybe I should taste some of these to see what they are? They all look pretty much the same.

Kronk: Hmmm… Good idea. Try this one.

Jake: (Tastes a bit of the spice) Mmmm… That’s cinnamon.

Kronk: How about this one?

Jake: (Tastes a bit, then starts looking frantically for water) AHHH! That’s pepper!

Kronk: What kind?

Jake: Whatever kind it is, it has a real kick to it!

(Beep! Beep! Beep!)

Kronk: (Gasps) MY SPINACH PUFFS!

Jake: (After gulping down some water from a bottle) Relax, man. Just my timer.

Kronk: No, I just remembered I need to go take those out of the oven! Bye, everyone! (Hurries off)

Jake: Um, ok. That’s unusual. Uh… Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Until next time, “It’s Turkey Season!”

Daffy Duck: No, it’s Rabbit Season!!

Jake: (Jumps) How’d you get down here?!

21 Comments

  1. LOL This is awesome! Great job on this. Love the wrong lever part XD

  2. LOL This is awesome! Great job on this. Love the wrong lever part XD lol

  3. This is amazing! I love the emperor’s new groove!! Thanks!

  4. Beren Erchamion

    “No, it’s rabbit season!”
    YESS I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN I SAW THAT
    Great article!!

  5. I already used it to tern somebody into a cow and I have to use it to tern them back permission?

  6. Laura Talcott

    Hahaha This is awesome! nice Job with the leaver part!

  7. LOLOLLOL! Great article! *promptly repurposes it as a label for Lama essence and an extremly potient poisons after handling hot baked goods. then turns the scraps into octopuses, ducks, whales, and monkeys.

  8. Jasmine Mailand

    Lol! This is awesome! Nice job on the wrong lever part! Great article!

  9. This is awesome. =P Always love your articles and look forward to them! I love the theme of this one. The Emperor’s New Groove is such a great and hilarious movie. Keep up the good work! *thumbs up*

  10. Mmmmm… Dinner means spinach puffs!

  11. I DO want dinner.

  12. MMMMMM…MMMMM. *smacks lips*

  13. there you are not a cow you are dismissed.any one else?

  14. Eli Hedstrom

    Haha this is hilarious! Kronk is such a memorable character! Just curious, if I use this to handle hot baked goods, what kind of dinner do I have to eat?

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