Jonathan Carmicheal – Karate Kid 2.0

Jonathan Carmicheal drives down the road in his car, the static-filled stereo blaring music.  This is not just any car, however.  It is his classic second-generation Chevrolet Corvette Stingray, built in 1963, containing a trunk filled with various weapons, and a fresh catch of raw cod sitting in the back seat.  Awed children crowd around, risking their lives and their olfactory senses for a glimpse of the Stingray.  Among these children is a young reporter.  After the crowd melts away, the reporter remains, running after Jonathan.

“Mr. Carmicheal!  Can you answer some questions for a magazine?”  After repeated queries along these lines from the reporter, Jonathan adjusts his black belt, his hands and feet assuming a stance from Brazilian jiu-jitsu.  Quickly, he darts out of his car, maintaining its course with his foot while attacking the reporter with his other 3 appendages.

After eliminating the reporter, Jonathan gets back into his car.  A mysterious notepad is on the seat next to him.  Picking it up, Jonathan realizes that it is a list of questions, which he begins to answer.

If you have a nickname, where did it originate from:

Pondering, Jonathan’s mind fills with his many nicknames.

“I got Yonny from Joel Kim in Chem section 6, I got Mini Riesen from Liv Aden also in Chem, I got Squirrel Soup from the people in Literary Survey like 3 years ago, and I don’t remember where but I got Qui-Gon-Jon.  Maybe it came to me in a dream as a baby…”

How many years you have been with TPS, what grade are you, and how old are you:

“This is my 4th year with TPS, I’m a junior, and I’m 16.”

List something unexpected about you:

Although there are many unexpected things about Jonathan, he picks the most unexpected:

“I’m Half-Brazilian.”


Thinking back to his activities this morning, this question is easy for Jonathan.

“Hunting, fishing, tubing and waterskiing (during the summer of course), and I also really like guns and knives and such.”

Favorite Quote and Bible Verse:

“Charles Dudley Warner said, ‘Everybody complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.’”

My favorite Bible verse is: Romans 8:38-39.

If you could be an animal, what would you be and why:

“A wolverine, because they’re mid-sized, pretty rare, has huge territories, and are total kick-butts when they fight other stuff.  Like these things take on full sized bears.”

What is something you would like to do one day and why:

“Skydive, because I feel like that’s the closest I can get to feel like I’m dying while being relatively safe.”

Would you rather be a donut or a bagel, and why:

Biting into the apple fritter on his table, Jonathan has a brainwave.

“Can I be an apple fritter?  Apple fritters are the rich people of donuts.”

Question 9: If you had the opportunity to, would you want to live underwater?  Explain your answer:

“Heck yes; the terrain is awesome, the creatures are awesome, and I’d have 80% of the world to roam around on instead of 20%.”

What is your favorite word and why:

“Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis, because I’m the only person I know who can say it.”

Extrovert/Introvert or MBTI type?

“Well I guess I’d like to think of myself as ENFJ ‘The Protagonist’”

If you could be a color, what color would you be and why?

Looking down at his black clothes, Jonathan begins to write.

“Black; it’s straight up classy.”

What’s your favorite movie and book and why?

“I really don’t know what my favorite book is, but my favorite movie is probably Napoleon Dynamite.  It does a beautiful job with dry humor.”

Dog or cat?

“How about dog.”

Favorite subject?

“Well if me playing bass can be considered a subject then bass.”

Fiction or non-fiction? 

“Fiction; first of all, anything can happen.  Secondly, if I’m reading a non-fiction book and something crazy happens, then that means I have to mentally cope with the fact that that happened in real life.”

What’s your passion, and why do you enjoy it?

“Classic cars and martial arts.  I like classic cars because there are so many of them and they’re so cool to see and learn about, and I like martial arts because I’ve been doing it for a long time, and when I was a kid it seemed like the coolest thing to me.”

What is your catchphrase?  How did this phrase come to be your catchphrase?

“My catchphrase sounds like a sneeze, I got this from a good friend who moved to Texas a while back; he knew all sorts of funny things to say like that, and I really liked this one so I picked it up.”


  1. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis???

  2. Heyyy I’m Half-Brazilian too d:

  3. Jonathan Carmichael

    Oh man, if only this was my life XD great job, and thanks!

    • Jonathan Carmichael

      P.S. My catchphrase doesn’t sound like a sneeze XD, but that would be funny; It’s ____’s are like sneezes. For example: Opinions are like sneezes; They come up in conversation but get annoying if repetitive.

  4. Nice article! 😀
    Wolverines take on Buckeyes too. Unfortunately they usually lose. XD
    If you can’t tell I’m from Michigan

  5. Very nice article!
    YAS to that bible verse and YAS to the apple fritter x)

  6. This is great! Good job both of u [:

  7. Dogs Rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. lol, i totally feel ya on the non fiction question xDD great article!! =))

  9. lol nice!