Featured, Humor

A Fork in the Proverbial Road

Disclaimer: This article is the exclusive property of Jake Moore and clay magazine. It may not be used, viewed, printed, colored on, turned into a toy, given to toddlers, or sent by paper airplane without the expressed consent of Jake Moore and clay magazine. And, just so y’all know, if you’re reading this, you have permission. Just letting you guys know in case you haven’t figured that out yet.

Jake: Hello, World! Once again, I have returned to bring you your monthly dose of hilarity from fictional characters. This month, to start my last year on staff, I have chosen to bring in a new character who came in at the end of an era. Ladies and Gents, I give you Forky!

Forky: Uh, trash?

Jake: No, Forky, not trash. It’s an interview.

Forky: What’s that?

Jake: Well, I’ll ask you questions, and you’ll answer them. I’ll record your answers and post them online.

Forky: Oh. Buzz said you were a bad guy.

Jake: What? Oh, I get it. He meant the slightly evil version of me, Jake 48. I haven’t seen him since the last article I wrote.

Forky: Is he trash?

Jake: Umm… I guess you could say that. Oh, speaking of which, I came up with a new code-phrase. If I say, “Renegade”, that means it’s me, not an imposter.

Forky: (Distracted by his hand) Huh? What?

Jake: It’s my superhero name.

Forky: What is?

Jake: Renegade.

Forky: Why?

Jake: I dunno, I just thought it sounded cool.

Forky: Why?

Jake: Why what?

Forky: Why are you telling me your superhero name?

Jake: (Blinks) You weren’t listening to me about the code-phrase?

Forky: I just remember you saying somebody was trash.

Jake: (Sighs) Ok, try to pay attention.

Forky: I’m not good at that. Even if I am alive.

Jake: Sentient.

Forky: Huh?

Jake: Sentient. It’s sort of another word for alive.

Forky: Then why don’t you just say, “alive”?

Jake: Well, sentient is more specific.

Forky: But it makes me confused.

Jake: Sorry. Let me put it this way: sentient means a special kind of alive.

Forky: That still doesn’t make much sense.

Jake: Well, how would you like me to explain it?

Forky: Well, why is that guy trash?

Jake: (Blinks again) You’re still stuck on that?

Forky: Yeah, I’ve had this piece of clay stuck to my sticks ever since Bonnie made me.

Jake: No, I didn’t mean the clay, I meant the part where we were talking about Jake 48.

Forky: He’s old!

Jake: No, he’s not 48 years old, he’s Jake 48 because he’s from Earth 48. Also, 48 isn’t that old.

Forky: How do you know?

Jake: Well… I, uh…

Forky: (pointing to a Minifigure on the desk) Is that the trash guy?

Lego Luke Skywalker: I’m not trash! I’m a Jedi Knight!

Jake: Sorry about that Luke. He’s a little confused.

Luke: No worries. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to catch up with Han. He’s waiting for me.

Jake: Bye!

Forky: Bye everyone!

Jake: No, Forky, not yet.

Forky: Oh. Hello everyone!

Jake: It’s a little late for that too.

Forky: Oh. Trash everyone!

Jake: (Smacks forehead) Not that either!

Forky: Oh.

(Beep! Beep! Beep!)

Jake: Ah, now it’s time.

Forky: Trash everyone!

Jake: No, time to say goodbye.

Forky: I already did.

Jake: You don’t want to say it again?

Forky: I guess I can. Bye, everyone!

Jake: Alrighty, I guess it’s my turn. Bye, everybody! Until next month, I’m riding off into the sunset!

Forky: I thought you were sitting in a chair.

Jake: I was trying to be poetic.

Forky: What’s that?

Jake: I’ll explain later. Bye!

 

11 Comments

  1. XD XD XD This is soooooo funny!! I love it!! ITS GREAT ROFL ROFL

  2. great job Jake. I can`t beleve that i`m reading this by my self>

  3. Lol!! This is awesome!! Great Job Jake!!😂

  4. This is awesome! 🤣 (I love the disclamer as well)

  5. I can`t what for the next article

  6. I think Luke’s gonna get an unfortunate surprise.

  7. This totally made my day!!! GREAT JOB!!!!

  8. Haha, this cracked me up. Forky is…*smh*