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How to Write a Nicholas Kaplan Article

Hey guys! Cale- I mean, Nicholas here! So, I’ve decided to share all of my secrets because I’m in a particularly charitable mood today. Whether it’s exposing Santa or giving you tips on how to survive Valentine’s day single, I have a VERY specific routine. Here are some steps to get to writing as good as I do!

 

  1. Plan your topic:

The first step in writing a great Kaplan article is to brainstorm. And by that, I mean getting struck by an idea. Literally. Why else would I run around with a tinfoil hat on during a lightning storm? After I woke up from the coma, OF COURSE I came up with the “Secret to Succeeding in Literally Everything You do” article!

 

  1. Get to writing!

A lot of people say that writing is hard, but it’s WHAT you write that gets a little bit tricky. For example, right now I have no trouble with: ghosts’ bananas orange tulips for free monkeys. However, even writing this sentence is excruciatingly painful. So, I guess my advice for you is to get writing after you have a breakdown in the corner of your room. Or, you could make a really long sentence with seemingly no end that might go on for a while with lots of conjunctions and prepositions just to fill in a good amount of space and get your word count up, but I’m not sure why you or anyone else would do something like this.

 

  1. Make a list of stuff you have to do.

You can also add a paragraph or two after each point, and use a bunch of text. It’s easy once you know what you’re going to write, but again… refer to step 2. Or, you could also

 

  1. See step 3.

 

 

That’s all for today! Be sure to check out some of my other articles and stay tuned for next month, where I uncover the deep, dark secrets of the Easter bunny! (or not, because Caleb may)

8 Comments

  1. This is awesome. When I showed my dad this article, He died laughing.

  2. Is this how you think of me??? wow ok…

  3. Is your name Nicholas or Jake?

  4. lol this is…is. ha

  5. LOLOL nice this is great. ? ? ?