Spotlight

How To Interview Your Dragon

Disclaimer: This article is the exclusive property of Lemon Duck (also known as Aina Do) and clay. You already have Lemon’s and clay’s permission to view it since it’s been posted publicly. But it may not be used, copied and pasted, sold illegally to Dragon Hunters, printed, set on fire by a dragon, or hidden in the Hidden World without the express consent of Lemon Duck (aka Aina Do) and/or clay. You may proceed to read (and take note that this doesn’t count in the word count).

Lemon: Hello, dear readers of clay. It’s Lemon Duck (you know who I am if you scroll down to the bottom, but this is my interview name, so just roll with it. Besides, vikings are supposed to have weird names! No judging.) Ahem, that is to say, hello, dear readers of clay. Today, I’ve decided to rebel against the structural hierarchy of clay and use my Class Spotlight office to interview a character instead of interviewing classes. I mean, do you understand how hard classes can be? Seriously, you should have heard geometry had an existential crisis! Yeah, maybe classes don’t have feelings or thoughts, but they totally do and—

Toothless: *roars*

Lemon: *panting* Okay, sorry. Thanks, bud…ooh! That was SO much fun to say!! Bud, bud, bud—

Toothless: *huffs flatly*

Lemon: Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Usually, the character is supposed to be destroying the interviewer’s sanity, as Jake Moore so clearly demonstrated.

Toothless: *thwacks Lemon with his tail*

Lemon: Ow! Did anyone ever tell you that hurt, Toothless?

Toothless: *laughs*

Lemon: Don’t laugh at me, you evil reptile!

Toothless: *nuzzles Lemon’s interviewing sheet*

Lemon: Yeah, yeah, I’m on it. *glances at sheet* Okay…first up is, “When was the class founded?”—wait, WHAT?! This isn’t my Toothless interviewing sheet! This is the questionnaire I use for the Class Spotlight!

Toothless: *sigh of disbelief*

Lemon: Quick, Toothless! We have to find my questionnaire for you before the timer beeps to signify I’ve run out of words!

(Toothless proceeds to hop all about my office.)

Hey! Stop that! You’re not supposed to mess up my chaos! NO! That’s my prized collection of scissors! Stop…the papers can’t be in the—oh, wait…what were they doing in the trash?

Toothless: *triumphant screech*

Lemon: Ow again. That hurt the eardrums!

Toothless: *huffs and glares at Lemon*

Lemon: Yeah, yeah, I know. You sacrificed all this time to be away from your best friend Hiccup to be interviewed by me. Fine…let’s get back to the interview.

Toothless: *narrows his eyes in annoyance and sighs*

Lemon: Don’t look at me like that?! I knew perfectly well where everything was…well, until I didn’t. Anyway…first question. “When were you born?” *frowns suspiciously*

Toothless: *huffs*

Lemon: Oh, that’s right…your second movie told us you were Hiccup’s age. My bad, wait…this is my Teacher’s Spotlight questionnaire from last year!! I knew my questions for you weren’t in the trash! Ha! Take that!

Toothless: *rolls his eyes and chuffs degradingly*

Lemon: Excuse me? I deserve so much more respect than that! Do you know what I go through to write things down? Let me tell you Toothless, there is a fine art of procrastination and shirking schoolwork that I use to write these things!

Toothless: *sighs*

Lemon: Besides, what has you in such a snarky mood? You’re usually so adorable and cat-like in the movies…well, I assume you’ll be like that in the third one, I haven’t watched it because the illegal downloading sites don’t have the third one yet.

Toothless: *eye roll and prods Lemon with a paw*

Lemon: Right, of course. It’s me.  Always is. But…Questions! Okay…okay? Uh…we’ll just have to wing it, I guess. (pause)

Pun intended.

Toothless: *disbelieving snort*

Lemon: Well, it still was a pun!!

Toothless: *shakes head sadly and pitifully with a blasé exhale*

Lemon: Oh, be quiet already! Let me think…oh! Hmm, so, Toothless…what does it feel like to be the dragon pet?

Toothless: *snarl*

Lemon: Okay, sheesh! “Hiccup’s best friend” then! But Hiccup, if you don’t remember from the first movie’s end, called you guys “pets,” as in, “the only upsides are the pets,” which is you all…

Toothless: *snarls again*

Lemon: Yeah, yeah. Sure it was done to sound similar to the intro’s “pests.” But he still called you pets!

Toothless: *flat look*

Lemon: No, actually. I don’t have better things to do than argue about word choice with a Night Fury, thank you very much. Well, I have school and stuff, but…I have more important things?

Toothless: *shoves Lemon in front of a 1800 word paper she has to finish as well as the prospect of some upcoming tests that she definitely won’t study for and math she has steadily ignored*

Lemon: Hey! Who made you the un-procrastinating police?

Toothless: *makes laughing noises*

Lemon: You know you sound like a congested elephant when you make laughing noises, right?

Toothless: *growls*

Lemon: You’re right, we’re getting off track here. *sighs* And I had such a wonderful questionnaire for you, ready. I wonder, where did it go? Did you sneeze on it?

Toothless: *disbelieving scoff*

Lemon: No! They weren’t all about How to Train Your Dragon 3! I think…one of them was…about how we can get to the hidden world, though. I mean, I haven’t actually—

(beep, beep)

—seen the movie, but I know there’s a hidden world and probably that’s why we don’t see dragons. But, I beg you, Toothless, tell me where it is so I can get a Monstrous Nightmare for myself!

(beep, beep)

Toothless: *gives Lemon a steady glare*

Lemon: What? I mean, I LIKE Night Furies and such, and a Light Fury does look pretty neat, but a Monstrous Nightmare can literally set itself on fire!!

(beep, beep)

Toothless: *nudges*

Lemon: What? Have I really spent 800+ words already, only arguing with a dragon? Shoot! Oh, well, it was fun, anyway, Toothless. Thanks.

Toothless: *licks and drenches with disgusting spit*

Lemon: Lookie there! Now I don’t have to take a shower…wait, is the recording still on—

 

Photo credit: https://www.reddit.com/r/httyd/comments/agwkud/toothless_shot_of_the_day_81/

14 Comments

  1. Haha! This is great! Toothless is my favorite!!! <3

  2. LOL this is an awesome idea!!!!! It’s so funny!

  3. LOL!
    Good job Aina this is hilarious!?

  4. Hey! Stop that! You’re not supposed to mess up my chaos! XD

  5. lolll this was great Good Job! Toothless is the best!

  6. The How To Train Your Dragon books are WAYYYYY better than the movies, but in the movies Toothless is so CUTE anyway. And I think Lemon Duck is a genius! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  7. LOLOLOLOL Good job this is hilarious!!!I enjoyed this so much.

  8. Oh. My. Goodness. This is so funny!!!

  9. hahahahaha this is hilarious! GJ!