I have a small fear of people. This fear is the main reason why I tend to avoid or make excuses not to talk to others. I know, I know, it sounds really silly, but that fear and insecurity are very real. It’s not that I don’t like people, on the contrary, I love to spend time with those I am close with. But that never stops the doubts and whispers inside my head. Insecurity is a major dilemma.
I am sure all of you have dealt with something like this before, and I am guessing you are probably wondering what apologetics has to do with any of this. For a long time, I thought this anxiety and fear was hidden securely in my thoughts and didn’t affect my relationship with others and with God, but I was very wrong. Insecurities not only affect your mental state, but they affect how you interact with God and others.
#1 What are Insecurities?
“Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.” (Merriam Webster Dictionary).
Insecurities are your fears about others and yourself that affect how you live your life. They stem from your doubts, lack of self-confidence, and lack of a firm and lack of a firm personal foundation. As they begin to grow, you start to think more critically of yourself and others, have destructive thoughts, and pity yourself. It makes escaping your fears almost impossible. We try and plant ourselves in things we believe will bring us security, but it always backfires. Good grades, high social status, appearance—they will never give a full sense of security and safety. Insecurities are what drive us to sometimes do random things like avoid a person for the whole day or stutter when you have memorized your speech perfectly. It feels embarrassing and is often hard to deal with. You don’t want to make others uncomfortable with the way you are behaving, and yet you cannot get rid of that feeling of loneliness and misery.
#2 Spiritual Battle
It’s a spiritual battle. I know that I constantly need to fight sin and my fears alike or else I might stray away from what is important. Our insecurities tend to take hold of our life and the only way to get rid of them is to fight. Satan is the one putting these fears and doubts inside our heads, hoping we will fall prey to sin and fall away from God. He doesn’t want us to feel safe or comforted. If we let our insecurities grow, it will soon strangle any hope or joy we may have. It’s extremely difficult to fight the “I’m not good enough” or “I’m only going to mess up,” but that should not be an excuse to give in.
Romans 12:3 says, “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” It’s hard to fight against the noises in your head and I cannot claim reading scripture will instantly help in removing those insecurities—that’s not the main focus of scripture. Paul is reminding us that we should not think of ourselves as lower or higher than others, we need to have a correct view of ourselves and always remember that our value lies in Christ. Instead of placing our security in what seems valuable, we should remember and constantly remind ourselves through scripture that we are children of God.
So how do we apply this in our daily lives? In dealing with your insecurities, there are some things you should do and not do in your life and spiritual walk.
- Not telling someone that you are going through something rough is one of the worst things you can do. It might make you feel better that you’re not “burdening” them, but trust me, it just makes everything worse. Receiving help allows for closure and peace of mind.
- Make sure to continually ask for prayer. It isn’t a bad thing to ask for prayer. I have no idea why people make it seem like a bad thing (yet another insecurity), you are asking for help and intercession from your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
- You need to talk to God. I know this will sound redundant depending on how many sermons you’ve heard, but read the Bible, pray, and meditate. Take time to spend with God and just be in His presence. I know that when my insecurities hit me hard, talking to God was one of the main things that helped and still helps.
- Work at it. As I said, it’s a spiritual battle. If you do not work to overcome and to truly ground yourself in Christ, you won’t ever be able to move through.
Insecurities are scary, they can hurt, destroy, and separate us from God. But because He constantly reminds us of who HE is and who WE ARE, we are able to overcome.