Humor

How to Have a Great 2019

Make resolutions

Want to get in shape? Go skydiving on Mondays? Be sure to make resolutions for the new year! Once you’re done, don’t forget to take a nap, since making lists is hard! Be sure to stick with the list for about a week and then just give up.

Remember the good old days

Okay, so maybe right now 2018 doesn’t seem so great. Just wait until 2019. We’ll all have forgotten how weird 2018 was so we’ll remember it fondly.

Year of the Pig

If you’re turning 12, 24, 66, or are planning to be born this year, then it is your year! People born on Year of the Pig are compassionate, diligent, and kind. So, I guess from February 5, you’re totally free to be yourself! If you have a sibling or someone you don’t like who is turning 66 this year, remind them that Piggies can also be considered lazy or clumsy.

Be ready for awesome movies

Shrek 5. Captain Marvel. Toy Story 4. Lego Movie 2. Avengers: Endgame. Aladdin. Need I say more?

Be ready for anything

Anything. Every year we progress, and it’s cool to see how far we came in 2018, but it’s also crazy how random and weird it was. They did surgery on a grape for goodness’ sake! 2019 will probably be just as weird or crazy, so be prepared!

Celebrate specially

Burn a scarecrow-like they do in Ecuador. Go to Spain and stuff 12 grapes into your mouth. Be sure to wish your Belgian cows a happy new year.

Just wait for next year

Okay, so maybe 2019 isn’t as great as we all hoped it would be. 2020 should be great!

7 Comments

  1. Oh, perfect! I was coincidentally planning to be born this year! 😀

  2. Nice article, Caleb 🙂 I always love reading these xD

  3. I’m a Piggie!

  4. endgame

    -cri-

    IM NOT READY UKNO

  5. Hahaha! This is hilarious. Too bad I’m not a pig….. I decided to be born last year :/

  6. this is great lol