Together Again!

Disclaimer: This article is the exclusive property of Jake Moore and clay magazine. It may not be used, viewed, printed, teleported, stuffed down the barrel of a rifle, splattered with banana, boiled with lobster, copied, pasted, or used as an improvised bat-signal without the expressed consent of Jake Moore and clay magazine.

Jake: Hello, once again, readers! If you remember last year…

Daffy: Rabbit season!

Bugs: Duck season!

Jake: Guys, ssshhh! If you remember last year, I invited everyone I had interviewed back to the office for one last time. Even though it ended in the inevitable disaster that every article ends in, I decided to make a bit of a tradition of it. So…

Spock: These two strangely drawn animals are not making much progress in their debate.

Jake: That’s kinda the point, pal. Well, I think everybody’s here. Let’s see, we have Bugs and Daffy, Spock, Uhh…

Kevin: (sitting in a desk chair on casters) WHEEEEEEEE!!!!

Jake: Ok, the minions are here. Um… Bru…

Batman: DUDE! There’s a reason it’s called a “secret” identity.

Jake: Sorry! Uh… Has anybody seen Lanny and Wayne?

Mater: I ain’t seen that movie. Is it good?

Jake: Not a movie! Lanny and Wayne, the Prep and Landing elves.

Mater: Oh. Well, I haven’t seen ‘em.

Jake: Chefy?

Swedish Chef: There’s a little person over that wee.

Jake: That’s Jack-Jack.

Jack-Jack: (giggles, hiccups, and accidentally fires laser-vision)

Jake: EVERYBODY DUCK!

Daffy: IT’S NOT DUCK SEASON, IT’S RABBIT SEASON!

Jake: Not what I meant. Has anybody seen Lanny and Wayne?

Wayne: (from behind Jake) Right here, Jake.

Jake: Woah! (jumps five feet in the air and bumps into Kevin riding the ceiling fan) You guys are good! That and you’re small.

Lanny: Well, actually, elves prefer proportionately challenged.

Jake: Oh, sorry. Ok, I think that’s everybody. Now, I intend to get at least three questions in. The first is for everybody. What are your plans for summer?

(everyone begins talking at the same time)

Jake: One at a time!! Batman, you first.

Batman: I plan on stopping baddies in Gotham City, and possibly sending Joker to the phantom zone.

Jake: That didn’t work out too well last time, but a bat’s gotta do what a bat’s gotta do. I guess. Bugs?

Bugs: DUCK SEASON!

Daffy: RABBIT SEASON!

Jake: Never mind those two. Uh, Kevin?

Kevin: (still riding on ceiling fan) BANANA! Hahahaha!

Jake: Ok then. Jack-Ja… oh wait, you can’t talk.

Jack-Jack: Bububububububububub…

Jake: Well, not really, anyway. Chefy? I can tell you’ve got something up your sleeve.

Swedish Chef: Yeah?

Jake: Yeah, I can see it through your shirt. Is that a… Why do you still have the stinking corkscrew?

Swedish Chef: Oh? (pulls corkscrew out of his sleeve) Hm. (Throws corkscrew over shoulder)

Jake: Ok, Spock?

Spock: As the Enterprise has been recently completed, the crew will continue its mission into deep space.

Jake: Cool.

Spock: Precisely. Deep space is very cold.

Jake: Somehow, I feel very misunderstood today. Ok, second question: Who’s ready for the Solo: A Star Wars Story movie? Eh?

Kevin: Oh, oh, me! Me!

Batman: Totally ready.

Swedish Chef: Huh?

Jake: Okay, cool. Final question…

(Beep! Beep! Beep!)

Jake: (turns to Swedish Chef) Is that yours or mine, Chefy?

Swedish Chef: Mine, for der chocolate chip muffins.

Jake: Ooo, can I have one?

Batman: I thought you didn’t have any more questions.

Jake: Wait, what? Oh, right sorry. Final question: Who had fun this year? Show of hands.

(Everyone raises a hand except for Kevin who is clinging for his life to the ceiling fan.)

Jake: Awesome! I think that just about wraps it up, and my office is still mainly intact!

Kevin: BONZAI!!!!! (smashes through window)

Jake: Never mind.

(Beep! Beep! Beep!)

Jake: Alrighty, folks. That’s a wrap!

Mater: If you say so. (begins to wrap timer in scotch tape)

Jake: Not that kind of wrap, Mater. Say goodbye, everybody.

Spock: Live long and prosper.

Batman: Batman out.

Daffy: RABBIT SEASON!!

Bugs: DUCK SEASON!!

Lanny: Bye everybody!

Mater: See ya, folks!

Swedish Chef: Bort! Bort! Bort!

Jake: ¡Adíos, Muchachos! See you next year!