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The Truth About Editors: These 4 Criteria Might Surprise You . . .

Piper

Creativity: 5. Piper abounds.

Grammatical Correctness: 4.679. Piper’s section rarely has mistakes in it, and when there are issues, it’s usually a single comma. (Those single commas will one day be the death of me, though.)

Organization: π. Piper’s organization is not quite a 5, nor is it rational.

Communication: 5. Piper’s questions are always promptly asked in a clear manner. Buuut there are a lot of them.

Newbie Questions: 1. Honestly, how confusing can it be to have to rank your columnists *and* advertise dishware at the same time? Apparently very.

Chillness with odd events: 7, because Annalee

 

Ian

Creativity: 5; Affirmative Action

Grammatical Correctness:  5; Affirmative Action

Organization: 5; Affirmative Action

Communication: 5; Affirmative Action

Affirmative action: 5; Ian’s a white guy, an endangered minority in clay circles.

 

Morgan

Creativity: 5

Grammatical Correctness: 5, Halle was her editor for a year, and Morgan was the one finding the mistakes in the articles.

Organization: 5, this seems like a white picket fence section.

Communication: Rae here, I’ve actually never talked to Morgan all year and nothing has gone wrong – is that good communication or bad? You decide.

 

Hannah

Creativity: 0; Hannah is a unique person. *sigh* I will say no more.

Grammatical Correctness: 4; She has a solid grasp of the English language and how to use it to defend Chickky Nugget.

Organization: 6; True to form, Hannah plays the role of Editor extremely well and would be nominated for Editor of the Year if there was such a thing.

Communication: 5; She makes sure to ask me about upcoming writers for our guest column a couple decades in advance.

Asianness: 4; While she is pretty asian, she doesn’t talk incessantly about calculus 6, so she’s a little short of a perfect score.

This picture: No. – Rae

Yah fam. – Jack

 

Emma

Creativity: -2

Grammatical Correctness: 56

Organization: 4

Communication: 5

Complaining: a lot

Asianness: 2.5 (exactly half)

Comments: You’d think the editors, especially a News editor, would appreciate not having to fact check in April – but no, Emma managed to complain about even the simple task of writing about kitchen implements (like Crock Pots).

 

Makenzie

Creativity: -5, Once you pass five, the score goes negative. Makenzie has overstepped all creative bounds and comes up with things that none of us have ever considered– like, who does that?

Grammatical Correctness: 5

Organization: 2

Communication: -2, There’s a fine balance between communication and over communication. Makenzie passes this line. By a lot. We receive at least three questions from her per day, most of which can be answered by reading the Clay handbook. “Should we publish this article?” Yes, Makenzie. “How about this one?” No, Makenzie. “Any ideas on an Instagram story?” No, Makenzie. “Should I change the Instagram password when Jack tells me to?” UM NO MAKENZIE.

Compliance to rules: 4.99 – all of them except giving all three senior editors fair access to Instagram.

 

Jacey

Creativity: 0. Columns literally have the exact same characters every week, and Jacey doesn’t even bother changing this.

Grammatical Correctness: 0. There are barely any words in these articles!

Organization: 5. I guess I’ll have to give her this one.

Communication: 0. Again, not sure how you communicate through an article literally made of squares. Plus, one of her columnists literally seems to misunderstand every guy/thing/baby that walks through his door. And Jacey just lets it happen.

Height: 100%. On point, girl, on point.

 

Marlee

Creativity: 0; I, Jack had to rate Marlee last year as well, and I’m afraid she hasn’t improved as an editor.

Grammatical Correctness: 0; At first I just thought her writers were just really bad, but I’ve noticed in time that she literally makes her articles *worse* by inserting random typos.

Organization: 0; She fell off a horse last year and just hasn’t been the same since then.

Communication: -1; She literally never picks up her cell phone, which makes it impossible to fire her when necessary.

Comments: Marlee not only had a month to complete her section evaluations, she also had a senior editor in home to remind her of the deadline. Did she finish on time? Nope. We would appreciate some consistency.

6 Comments

  1. I’d rate Hannah’s Asianness at 0 since she’s the proven twin of The Rock. *nods*

  2. I resent Jacey’s score. She has me and trust me, I write words. xD

  3. Wow much bias?

  4. LEL!!! I am laughing so dang hard right now!

  5. Ah Jacey…Where are you leading us now?