Oh dear! Supermom Ann ran her hand through her frizzled hair. Little James had reached the flour and had created a wonderfully magical, dusty blizzard in the middle of the kitchen. Four-year-old Sophie sneezed, spreading more “snow” across the kitchen. The baby in the bedroom began to sob, then wailed with true anguish. Ann sighed, hurriedly dusted James off, and sent Sophie to look to the baby. Every mom running on only two hours of sleep has had to contend with (at least one or most likely a combination of) sick children who stay home from school, a daughter lamenting her miseries, a stubborn child on the brink of tantrum, or possibly worst of all, 20 minutes to cook and serve dinner.
As Ann struggled to restore order in the kitchen and put something edible on the table, the hands of the kitchen clock mercilessly crept closer to 7:30. She swept up the floor, scoffing at Internet food stars who had the luxury to squander two entire hours to prepare for just one meal. Ann barely had time to make the house look respectable. Pinning up her hair in a messy bun, she attacked the tough meat she had planned for dinner and hastily shoved bread in the toaster. After dashing dressing on the salad, Ann finished plating the dishes.
What Ann needed was simple: a blow torch to sear her meat in seconds, create a crisp and cheesy breadcrumb-sprinkled mac & cheese, and toast marshmallows for a gooey dessert topping. For an extra added touch of elegance, she could even light candles with this handy appliance.
With a blow torch, not only can you plate dinner in half an hour, you can unleash your rage and frustration after a bad day with the sheer satisfaction of torching food. Students, this applies to you as well.
Your teacher gave you a 0 for a 1-minute late assignment? Go torch a marshmallow and enjoy s’mores.
Rejected or waitlisted by colleges or under the stress of a final paper (which you may or may not have procrastinated on)? Understandable, so go and watch sugar melt into sticky caramel under a 2000° fire.
Your wifi refuses to work in the middle of class even though you restarted your computer? Go peel the skin off a tomato using a blow torch.
Who knows what kind of fun you could have with a blow torch? If you are feeling ambitious (and have lots of time on your hands), attempt the finest creation in all of culinary history: the infamous crème brulee. Or, try using it for meringues or marshmallow frosting to achieve a beautiful, crisp look. Create a big bonfire and say sayonara to your despicable math textbook at the end of the school year. (Before attempting any of the above, I would recommend practicing a fire drill for your household in case you get a little carried away with the blow torch.) Get creative with a blow torch, and in whatever else you do with this neat appliance, be sure to send me pictures.