News

Cats Planning World Takeover

Russia – The CIA (Canine Intelligence Agency) has recently uncovered evidence that the Cats, headed by Grumpy Cat from her secret Moscow headquarters, are planning to officially take over the world during the FIFA World Cup in June.

The agents discovered that kitten videos, broad-cat-ed from Moscow worldwide via YouTube, are actually coded instructions. These apparently innocent and hilarious videos contain directions for all felines everywhere to initiate plan Catnip. While the human population is distracted watching the popular sporting event, the cats will shut down the whole electrical grid and Wi-Fi system, paralyzing the people into submission.

“Already, measures have been implemented,” says agent F1D0. “The leaders have installed previously trained cats into almost every home, especially in the United States, China, and Russia. They also have an immense army of enslaved mice waiting to subdue any resistance.”

 

Sources:

  1. http://www.fifa.com/worldcup-in-RUSSIA-of-all-places/index.html
  2. https://www.pri.org/stories/look-out-your-cat-is-coming-to-get-you/
  3. image found here: https://secret-images-of-cat-hackers/

 

 

About the Author:

Name: Julia Marsango

Age: 16, sophomore

 

Years at TPS: This is my first year, but I’m coming back next year.

Classes: Ancient History with Mr. Crosby and English 3: Foundations with Ms. Gaines

Hobbies:  photography, reading, organizing my room

 

4 Comments

  1. Haha! I will be careful. This is extra dangerous for all those cat-allergic people out there (like me).
    ?

  2. HAhahaha, I’ll be on the look out. *salutes Bicuit the puppy*. LOL.

  3. There is a huge mistake here. Cats already own the world.