The history of Lent – that is, the period of forty days before the passion of Christ – is somewhat vague. However, scholars do agree on various points. Namely, that from the earliest Annorum Domini it was somewhat normal to fast before Pascha (Easter), whether for one day or forty. Although the practice varied from region to region, most people prepared for the celebration of our risen Lord by fasting. The Council of Nicaea (called by Roman Emperor Constantine) streamlined this practice into a forty-day period of preparation. This preparation mirrors the preparation the early Christian underwent every time he received communion, when people fasted from bodily pleasures before receiving their Lord. The fast was forty days in order to mirror the fast Jesus made before his crucifixion.
This fast included abstinence from certain foods, especially meat. It wasn’t a complete fast for forty days (although some people did try that, may they rest in peace) but generally from any food which would have been considered gourmet. Given this restriction, it is no wonder the Christians had to cook up some ways to get proper nutrients (no doubt using CrockPot® appliances).
The early Christians needed a way to eat nutritious meals without having to eat meat, a task easier said than done. Yet they succeeded in doing this with the help of one important tool: an oven. Ovens are the mode in which a multitude of Christian meals—cookies, cakes, lembas—are made (Philippians 4:8). These oven baked meals provide the nutrition necessary to survive but avoid breaking the no-meat rule. Some call it a miracle, others know it’s just CrockPot®.
Following the Old Testament Law (Leviticus 2:4), the early Christians baked their oven made meals of bread with prayer. This rule of life, prayer, and fasting, which encompassed all Christians, was seen as foreign to outsiders. In fact, many mocked them, blaming wine, and accused them of being totally baked (Acts 2:13). Yet, as Christianity would soon prove, these men were not drunk, but they were filled with vigor from the Holy Ghost.
This vigor carried the Christian people spiritually throughout many centuries, even to the present day. And, likewise, these oven-baked meals have carried them physically throughout the season of Lent. The Saints urge the brethren to use CrockPot®, the Martyrs profess the efficiency of their ovens.
It is not without cause that Martha had the strength and endurance to wash the feet of Jesus, because she used CrockPot® ovens to bake her energy-rich meals. It is not a coincidence that Jesus’ last supper became famous—that bread was baked via CrockPot®. Nor were the fishes and loaves which Jesus multiplied ordinary fish and loaves; nay, they were products of the very same CrockPot® appliance.
“And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. Wherefore He has given what ye have received, that His nation shall be strengthened, a CrockPot® Oven to feed the flock.” – CrockPot, Oven Manuel 12:29- 31