Arts & Culture

Greater Graters

There’s nothing greater than a grater.


If you have a particularly annoying grader, you can grate that grader.

If you have a weak paper, you can grate that paper and write one that’s greater.

If you have a crummy hater, you can grate that hater and make yourself greater.

If someone doesn’t follow through on a favor, you can grate that favor.

If you get into a romantic tangle, you can grate that crush (ignore that failure of rhyming with grater, or else I will grate you, hater, with my grater).

If you almost get run over by a freighter, you can do me a favor and grate that freighter.

If you happen to be beaten by an arrogant debater, you can grate that debater, and while you’re at it, grate that annoying grader.

If you’re threatened by a dictator, grate that dictator, since he’s a perpetrator and find a leader who’s greater.

If you get attacked by a gator, grate that gator and revive any victims with your defibrillator.

if you’re irritated by moderators… better give them graters to grate you for being a traitor (yeah, don’t touch those ones— they’re scary).

If you’re ripped off by a syndicator, grate that manipulator, and rip ‘em a new one with your grater.

If you have a block of cheese, grate that please with your cheese grater.

If you have a block of potato, grate that with your potato grater.

And remind yourself everyday: there’s nothing greater than a grater.


  1. Grate job on this. XD

  2. *is highly confused after all the graters and haters……* lol

  3. What’s with the food stuff today omw XDD

  4. Haha! Nice job on this!

  5. This is grate! great? grate? …

  6. GJ Sarah! NICE! xD But, ditto Audrey, I got lost 2. xD

  7. I’m so grateful to you for this poem, Sarah.

  8. This is so grate; love it! XD