Do you suffer from lame characters with incomplete character arcs? Do your readers throw your books against the wall because of the simply unsatisfying, stale protagonist? Are your cookies as misshapen and lumpy as the love interest in your novel? Do you need a new recipe that will keep your friends on the edge of their seat as you take a batch out of the oven?
Cookie cutters are the way for you!
Also for your writing problems, try archetypes. Who needs realistic characters anyway? They’re tough and time-consuming and headache-inducing, and definitely not as fun as gathering in the kitchen with your family and pressing cutters into cookie dough flatter than your cape-twirling, evilly-laughing villain archetype.
That’s right! Archetypes fix everything for you! No more lumpy characters as disappointing as raisin cookies. Once your readers see an Innocent–often in the mold of a fair-headed maiden–fainting faster than snickerdoodle crumbles melt in your mouth, they’ll know just what to expect from the rest of your characters!
Do you need a Hero? All you need is a strong, morally-upright man who has struggles but never really fails because he’s perfect, like Captain America! Nothing says America like diabetes resulting from chokingly-sweet icing-covered sugar cookies! Want to emulate the flawless circle shape of store-bought sugar cookies? Buy stainless steel circle cutters for cookies that will look exactly like the supermarket version!
For a little bit of spice, check out the gingerbread man cookie cutters available in every supermarket in the nation! If ginger doesn’t suit you for spice, try sage and seasoned! Mentors abound everywhere and anywhere, and they can in your story as well! I’m sure Gandalf had many a flower-shaped cookie when visiting his hobbit friends, and if he ever pops by your door with an adventure for you, you can offer him not only flower shapes, but also airplane, shamrock, and heart cookies!
(Speaking of which, if a Ruler shows up at your door, particularly a dwarf one, hide all dragon-shaped cookie cutters out of sight.)
Of course, every story needs an Everyman to balance out all the complicated molds. I bet John Watson could use some cookie cutters to make his life a little more predictable and stable. While we can’t make promises about your life, a 12-piece mini cookie cutter set will certainly complement your dessert course without being particularly outstanding. Sometimes traditional is best!
You can also sprinkle a Jester or two on your story. Once your cookies are baked, it’s always fun to decorate them in fun colors and textures! Make a dinosaur pink or a bell all the colors of the rainbow, because in the end, it all tastes the same, just like every archetypical book ever!
In the end, molds and formulas make your life (and your books!) much easier. Purchase your set of cookie cutters today and start rolling that dough today (visit www.pamperedchef.com to get started)!