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Vote for your favorite senior editor!

Welcome one and all to the fourth annual round-robin contest featuring your very own Clay writers and editors.

Long story short: it was February. We got bored. We split the staff into three groups and wrote some stories (*cough some being more legitimate than others cough*).

Below you’ll find links to the stories written by our various teams. If you feel so inclined, please read them and then return to this article and comment your vote. The story with the most votes by March 15th gets a free trip to Morocco sponsored by the losing parties (or you know, the equivalent reward if Rae or Jack somehow manage to win…).

Team Halle – The Castle – Read if you’re a fan of Doctor Who (the Duke), the Crown, royal families, castles, spies, government, people, letters, or even just England.

Team Raelen – The Day the Boomerang Escaped – Short on time? Just read the last paragraph. Anyone who’s spent any amount of time on the forums will be filled with joy.

Team Jack – The Greatest Story Ever Told – Honestly no words for this one. It’s just perfect. (Jack)

155 Comments

  1. I loved them all, but Team Raelen has my vote. XDDDD The boomerang story was hilarious.

  2. Are columnists allowed to vote? Because if so my vote is /obviously/ Team Raelen. XD

    • Nah fam

    • We gave you a unicorn, no complaining XDD.

    • and quail pants!! who doesn’t love those…

    • I believe you’re supposed to comment with the team who wrote the best story, not the most confusing one.

      • Interesting how you died in Jack’s story but are now resurrected to join his campaign. The very existence of your comments undermine the credibility of your cause.

        • *cough* Jesus was resurrected. I don’t think that undermined the credibility of his cause one bit.

          • Jesus is God. Now you’re claiming you’re God? Your argument gets worse and worse.

          • She is claiming God is real. Do you not believe God is all powerful? Jesus brought Lazarus back to life, why then would he not also resurrect Chikky Nugget. Also, you should be careful talking about the Chikky family. Chikky Fried has been weeping recently, and it was quite hard for him to get himself together for that picture. Hence the shades.

        • Hannah! I practically hired you. I can’t believe you’d turn against me like this. I’ll never be able to look at a piece of golden Chick-fil-A goodness again without feeling a twinge of betrayal. *single tear rolls down face*

  3. o.O – only Jack’s story is howing up for me . . .

  4. Team Halle, of course, if contestants can vote. #allezlecast

  5. Team Raelen is my vote! But the other groups did a nice job too!

  6. Team Halle

  7. Wowwwww, we’re making this personal now? “Vote for your favorite SE…” impressive. And yes, columnists can absolutely vote (and be disloyal to their groups hehehhh). My vote is Team FBI =D

    • TPS Memes Official

      Surprising, Rae, that you would vote for Team FBI… seeing as how you obviously colluded with the Russians! x)

  8. I am literally separated between Team Jack and Team Raelen, I liked your Team Halle but I am a big joke person. lol But after much thought, I have to go with Team Raelen. There’s my vote

  9. #TeamHalle

    The one team that actually put effort into the story…..XD

  10. Nathanael Petucci

    I vote for Team Raelen because I was on that team.

  11. Team Rae, of course. =D

  12. My vote’s for Team Raelen. x)

  13. I vote for Team Raelen.

    • TEAM RAELEN ALL THE WAY!! (of course, that has nothing to do with the fact both of us were on her team…)

  14. Team Halle

    #alllezlecast

  15. Team Halle’s story isn’t loading. =/

  16. I’m calling shenanigans on Jack’s team, because I literally just fixed Halle’s and my links an hour ago. It’s working now.

  17. TPS Memes Official

    Obviously, I must side with #TeamJack

    Jack’s story is a masterfully crafted, extremely creative, true work of art.

    Join me in supporting #TeamJack, I urge y’all to not fall to the hands of Fascism, but instead support the story of liberty: https://clay.at-tps.org/2018/03/05/the-greatest-story-ever-told/

    • *glare* wrong answer, try again ;P

    • I’m honestly excited for Jack, way to be his first vote. With 10 votes for Team Rae, it was clearly getting a little embarrassing for him.
      edit: 12 votes

  18. TEAM RAELEN

  19. Team Rae, obvi *hairflip* like ugh are the other teams even supposed to be legit? *valley girl*

  20. I vote Team Jack

    • Ok, so. I would have voted Team Halle, because *cough* their story actually made sense. However, the story was a bit rushed. And not much conflict at all. Nothing much happened. I guess I expected more of you.

      As for Team Jack, I suppose in ways, your story was more straightforward than Raelen’s. However it looked too much like my little brother’s writing (don’t worry… you write better). And I spotted some confusing parts.

  21. Team Raelen.

  22. Team Halle is by far the best in my opinion. But good job to all of the teams!

    • Dear Hydrogen,
      I’m dearly sorry you got bored after seeing “seriousness.” Alas that was our goal. We thought a little seriousness would blend well with a story about Boomerangs and Tater Todds falling in love 😉

      With best Wishes,
      The sister of Madam Kooprite

    • Whoops that was meant for Hannah XD I clicked the wrong reply button

    • Don’t associate yourself as a sister of Madame Kooprite, you are no sister of mine XDDD

  23. I vote Team Jack, or rather…Team Tater Todd. (Obviously Team Rae couldn’t think of anything better than the God-ordained, deep-fried union of Tater Todd and Chikky Nugget, and so they attempted to recreate the superior naming abilities of the one and only Piper Boykin but failed miserably and resorted to using common names from the book of Daniel instead. For shame. And Team Halle, I’m so sorry, I got bored after seeing the word “seriousness.”)

  24. Nathanael Petucci

    ??? I can only see Team Jack’s link. What’s up with that?

    • Team Rae and Team Halle’s links are working for me, but if you have parental controls on, then you may not be allowed access to those two. They contain reading material so painful to read that they are unfit for public consumption.

    • Probably a result of inappropriate subject material. Would expect as much from a fascist “story.”

  25. Team Jack has my vote…for no other reason than that the storyline is fabulous 😉

    • I mean I feel like that opinion is slightly biased because you sorta wrote part of it, but that’s totally fine, vote for a tater tot, whatever. (JOIN HALLE AND I TONIGHT ON INSTA LIVE FOR A Q&A SESSION)

      • Double standard much?

      • Like accusing us of simultaneously being fascist and communist.

        • You call us fascists, using as your evidence a comparison to Communists and an out-of-context screenshot claiming we are Nazis. Newsflash: Communists, Nazis, and fascists are not the same thing.

  26. announcing a new slogan (credz to Tayron): #TeamRaeAllDaWae

  27. http://forums.pottersschool.org/sguncategorized/the-resistance/208735-breaking-more-evidence-that-demands-a-verdict

    “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing.” –Edmund Burke

    • Come up with your own arguments and offer legitimate evidence instead of borrowing words from dead men.

      • I did. Read the link before commenting.You sound like a Russian bot. Consequently, the Russians are also fascist, so it’s fitting

        • I did read the link. All your screenshots consist of a few lines of conversation with no context whatsoever. Again, your “evidence” exposes your willingness to twist the facts for your own purposes.

          • Typical disregard for the facts.
            1. Jessica is an open member of the Illuminati.
            2. Jessica supports your candidate with the Illuminati’s endorsement.
            3. You disregard the past like all totalitarian governments. Past history arouses people to truth, something you cannot stand.
            4. Raelen did call H—– the 3rd best person in the world.
            5. Halle, the author of the article, was specifically biased against the one article that could be proven to be written by the people.

  28. Voting for The Greatest Story Ever Told. #TeamJack

    Reason 1: Story involves fruit
    Reason 2: Story involves potatoes
    Reason 3: Story involves crispy chicken

  29. I vote Team Jack

    • Your email address does not exist. You have therefore broken the rules of this site when it comes to posting comments, which require a legitimate email address in order to participate. Your vote is nullified and you have damaged the reputation of Team Jack.

      • Huh, that’s a new rule– oh wait– it isn’t one. Another secret court trying people for “crimes” against the state. Typical autocratic authoritarian.

        “An unjust law is no law at all.” -St. Augustine of Hippo

  30. Cassie Disharoon

    Obviously, Team Jack should be the winner. Our story has it all: it’s unpredictable, well-crafted, and teaches important life lessons about love and war. I vote #TeamTaterTodd

  31. I vote team Jack

  32. I read them all. While I loved them all. I think I have to go with Team Raelen. I’m also biased because I’ve met her in person before. I just wanna say great job to all the senior editors tho!!!!

  33. I vote team Rae 😉

  34. I stand with #TeamJack

    We will not succumb to the fascist posts of Team Rae and Team Halle, we will fight for liberty!

    #TeamJack

  35. #TeamRae because I was in that group. =)

  36. I will give gummy bears to all who vote for Raelen’s team (maybe). (x
    #TeamRaelen

  37. Team Rae. =D

  38. Definitely Team Raelen
    #TeamRaeFTW xD

  39. If contestants can vote #Team Halle!!!
    #allezlecast!

  40. #Team Halle

  41. If alumni are allowed to vote, I’m voting Team Raelen. Because yes.

  42. I vote Team Halle.

  43. I vote Team Raelen.

  44. Jack Livingstone

    Gotta go with Team Halle, if the writers are allowed to vote.

  45. Definitely Team Jack–it’s most definitely the Greatest Story Ever Told. :))

  46. Since Rae-Rae’s and Halle’s (#allezlecast) stories we’re down at a critical point of the voting period, we should totally take Jacks story down for a while

  47. I officially endorsed Team Jack. #eatmorechicken

  48. Brady Raccanello

    #teamhalle

    Actually…. #anythingbutjack

  49. *votes team Raelen*

  50. Im gonna have to vote for team Halle on this one.

  51. Charles Livingstone

    Team Rae, duh! Who doesn’t like boomerangs! Plus, I know a very excellent writer who contributed to that story. *winks*

  52. Team Raelen. Edward Lear-ish. Yes please.

  53. #TeamRae

  54. Team Rae :’)

  55. Team Halle…. the rest were too cringy

  56. Madelaine Setiawan

    Team Jack!!!

  57. *thought she could escape the madness without input*

    *was made to read them anyway and honestly, long time no laugh, this was good*

    Raelen is my vote and save me now, I can never look at another boomerang.

  58. Team JACKKKKK

  59. I vote for Team Raelen! All the stories were hilarious! Good job!

  60. Suzannah Bozarth

    Team Halle!

  61. Team Halle!

  62. Team Raelen gets my vote for sure!

  63. Team Jack cuz fat hens are op

  64. Definitely Team Raelen

  65. Team Halle 🙂

  66. #TeamJack #ChickFilA

  67. #TeamJack their story was the best!

  68. team raelen!

  69. Hey, Steven, is that you? Whoever you are, I heartily support your supporting of #TeamJack. #eatmorechicken

  70. #Team Halle

  71. I am afraid not, Maria. Jack’s story consisted of totally bossness, which, however great Halle’s story was, it didn’t equal Jack’s. 🙂 #TeamJack

  72. As much as I like all of them, I gotta go with Team Jack.

  73. Team Halle!!!!

  74. #TeamRaeDaWae I mean, who else? XD JK

  75. ??? Team Halle ! ???

  76. Down with the Empire
    Free the People!
    FOR THE RESISTANCE!
    Team Jack!

    • #JackTheDunce
      Although Jack’s story has the most votes, he must continue to insist Raelen has colluded with the Russians because he is insecure. He realizes that his story has more votes not because it is good (which it is not), but because he has a lot of influence on the Forums.

  77. this might be a little bit late, but uhh #TeamJack all the way