Spotlight

Conflict with Friends

“If someone keeps wronging you, at what point do you end the relationship? Always forgive them, sure, but allowing yourself to be wronged time and time again surely isn’t the answer. How do you find compassion and forgiveness for people who have hurt you before?”

If you ever feel like someone is causing you an unhealthy friendship with them, then I recommend you talk through your conflict with them with Christ’s love and compassion in your words. Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

A few years ago I had a friend and it seemed like no matter how times I forgave her, she kept wronging me. I forgave her for all the times she wronged me and told her that we had to end our friendship. We still check in with each other once in awhile, but we never talk deeply. When my friend and I communicated through emails, texts, and online it that caused me harm because there was never body language or tone of voice to talk through our conflicts.

How do you and your friend communicate? Is it the most healthy way to communicate?  Sometimes if friends solely communicate through texting and emails, words can get misunderstood. If you find yourself talking to a friend about something sensitive try meeting up with them or calling them. When you meet up or call them you are adding body language which can help you realize how you friend is feeling and vise versa.

If it seems that you cannot resolve things, taking a break from a friend is healthy. Maybe talk through your conflicts, get things resolved, and then take a while without that friend to focus on others and your faith. When you have grown try meeting up with that friend again (don’t talk over text or email, you need to have tone of voice and body language) or if they live far away try video chatting them so you can see their face.

If it seems that nothing can be resolved they it may be in your best interest to end that friendship. You must realize that just because you end a friendship doesn’t mean that you are enemies. If you are both Christians with Jesus’ love in your hearts, you will learn to love each other still and forgive one another.

Always keep in mind Matthew 6:14-15: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Think of the times God has forgiven you for your sins. Take that same forgiveness and show it to people around you. That doesn’t mean you have to stay best friends with someone.

Keep praying and giving your worries to the Lord. Also pray for your friend, maybe there is an underlying cause of their wrongs to you “…bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you,” Luke 6:28. When you bring your worries up to the Lord, your shoulders will feel lighter.

 

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