Modesty and the Holidays


NOTE TO ALL READERS: I’m running out of submissions, and I’d love for you to submit your own questions here!

Grace asks: “Why should girls worry about their modesty? Do guys really care if girls are modest or not? If so, what ways can girls be modest to help guys?”

This is tough question with a lot of heat behind it. First, know that by no means am I saying that I’m an expert, I’m simply giving you my opinion.

Do you have a godly man in your life that could explain modesty from a man’s perspective? This fall I attended a conference at my church about dating and relationships and one of the topics that Cole Zick (from talked about was modesty and how men think. It was encouraging to hear a godly man’s views on modesty. As girls we are told that we have to dress for someone else lest they sin. That can make us feel responsible for someone else’s sin. That’s a lot of weight on our shoulders! Rather than feeling responsible for someone’s sin, turn it around to yourself. Is the way you’re dressing self-honoring and honoring to God? Is your attitude in the right place: why are you dressing the way you are dressing? Are you dressing to get noticed?

Modesty is a bigger picture: it’s a picture of attitude and heart. Remember that 1 Samuel 16:7 reads, “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’” See, the Lord is looking at your heart. Is your heart in the right place?

“It often seems that the busyness of holidays wears people down and provides continual opportunities to argue. Do you have any tips for making holidays memorable and family-focused instead of stressful and quarrelsome?”

Music! Turn on some tunes while everyone is preparing for the holiday. If everyone still seems stressed then try talking to everyone at meal time. Let your family know that you want to make this holiday enjoyable. Maybe you could help them to not be so stressed out. Is there a task they need to get done but cannot because they have other things to do? Could you help with something?

Also, if everyone seems like they’re going 24/7 make sure you take some time to relax, play games, or watch a movie. The holidays should be a fun time!


  1. Hi Annette! Do I submit my questions here in the comments? 🙂

  2. Great message! I really like how you put in that part about how girls are made to feel responsible for guys’ sin, and while it’s definitely a problem for them to work on, our heart (and thus clothes) should be in the right place.

  3. Nice article, Annette! Theresa, you can click on the “here” at the top of the article to submit questions. 🙂

  4. Good topic, I was just taught it wasn’t right, so now when I think about it, I feel really really uncomfortable.

  5. Great article Annette! Its really good.