Maria Copeland: General News Columnist

It’s a deserted island— well, deserted except for one girl who’s leaning against a maple bonsai tree with an artfully twisted trunk that alternates between red, golden, and fresh green. Her name is Maria Copeland; she’s seventeen (“and insane”), a senior and thrilled about it, an incurable optimist, and the human equivalent of the tree at her back. She’s poised, studious, positive, gluten intolerant, and spin-diddly (according to her nine siblings anyway). She hopes to develop the ability to manipulate gravity and believes in the power of 70-90% cocoa chocolate. Her sweet tooth demands it.

Her fingers are moving furiously on her laptop, the one item that she chose to bring to this delightful deserted island. Her article for clay’s General News column is almost at 700 words, and she knows that she can battle through her writer’s block with immense success. This news column comes from a Christian perspective that she hopes will provide others with information about recent events through a God-glorifying lens. If she turns in this article late, she may just scream, because being late is always a massive no to this ENFJ.  

Music is blasting from the speakers of her laptop, causing the soundtrack of Pirates of the Caribbean to echo off of the craggy rock face that surrounds the beach she’s sitting on. While she usually gravitates towards Celtic music, hymns, and classical, her current obsession is movie soundtracks, and she can’t help but admire the excellent sound quality the island offers.

Her long brown hair is done in a Dutch braid that falls against a black knit top, matching nicely with her blue jeans and black ballet flats—her go-to outfit. While she has glasses, an Evenstar necklace from the Lord of the Rings, and a penchant for Brandon Sanderson, C.S. Lewis, Jane Austen, and J.K. Rowling, she doesn’t consider herself an extreme nerd. Rather, she drifts towards practicality, making sure to invest quality time into relationships and build friendships on more than having favorite fictional characters in common.  

So if you look close enough, you might notice a phenomenon that Maria puts into words perfectly: “Even if my feet aren’t always on the ground, my head’s not often in the clouds.”


  1. ‘Ayy, nice to see your fabulous face up here finally, Mariadoc. Also ooh nice island. Can’t wait to read yer stuff. ;D

    And fantastic article, Sarah. xD

  2. Glad to hear you hate turning things in late. ;D
    I love that quote at the end. So excited to be working with you this year!